A Firefly in the Darkness
by Hanikamiya Mitsukai
Summary: Gaara goes out to kill one night and brings back more than he bargained for, alot more than he bargained for. GaaraxOC
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Papercut by Linkin Park

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

_flash back_

"**Demon Speaking"**

'**Demon Thinking"**

A/N **read it's kinda important**

Gaara is only ten in the start of this fic

Gaara sat at home on his roof all alone watching the sun begin to set bathing the sky in shades of red. It looked like someone had cut the sky and it was now bleeding, dying, it's life fading into darkness, he could feel the sand in his gourd stir at the sight of the bleeding sky.

"Time to go then" he said to himself as he jumped down off the roof landing gracefully an his feet. He then started to walk towards the worst side of suna in search of a victim to quell the Shukaku's blood lust.

As he walked the buildings around him decayed more and more the number of boarded windows and graffiti increased as the number of viciously accusing eyes on his back decreased. The people on this side of suna feared and respected Gaara, he could take any of them at anytime and no one would care, and they knew it. These people were the real scum of suna, they were the violent drug addicts and alcoholics who hurt the ones they loved, the prostitutes that sold themselves for a price, the kidnappers who sold young girls as slaves to the sick pedophiles and pimps, and violent gangs that took the lives of anyone who even looked at them wrong and tortured the families of their enemies. It was dead silent here except for the occasional sounds of money being exchanged and hurried feet trying to escape from feeling the wrath of Gaara's sand.

As he neared a corner Gaara could hear the scuffling of panicked feet connecting with concrete and metal along with the violent clinking of a chain against metal accompanied with soft crying and whimpering. He continued to walk forward towards the noises when he reached the corner he turned and was a bit shocked to see a panicked looking girl with dark brown hair wearing a torn and dirty once-white dress all alone with her hands handcuffed around a tall lamp post, one cuff on each wrist biting into her pale flesh leaving red welts and bruises as she pulled away from the post pushing and kicking it with her feet. Judging on what she was dressed in and the terrified look on her face as she struggled to get free Gaara had come to the conclusion that she was a victim of kidnaping.

He slowly approached the girl attempting to draw out the seller when he noticed that there was a card board sign attached around her neck as she thrashed trying to get away from who ever had terrified her so badly. Suddenly her head snapped in the direction of Gaara and she ran around the post in a sad attempt to hide as she sunk to her knees crying and whimpering, she clenched her eyes shut not able to move as Gaara slowly approached her emotionlessly. When he reached the girl he crouched down to look at the sign "FOR SALE" was sloppily written in black marker on the dirty piece of card board hanging from an old rope. She continued to whimper and cry quietly shaking violently.

Gaara stood back up scanning the street for any sign of life and soon saw a man huddled in a dark corner with his hands over his mouth and wide eyes. The sand in his gourd stirred again and then the top flew off in an explosion of sand that rushed towards the man who screamed as the sand quickly consumed him causing the girls eyes to fly open as she turned towards the screams of her captor.

"Desert coffin" Gaara said as he raised his hand and the man was covered in sand "Sand burial" he said twisting his hand as he clenched it into a tight fist. Blood was spattered everywhere tainting the walls of a few nearby buildings with the glistening red liquid, Gaara remaining clean by using a small sand barrier to deflect it. Gaara looked back down at the girl who was also now spattered with blood. She looked up at him tears still streaming down her face mixing with and washing away the blood on her face.

"Jinchuriki?" she asked in a small scared voice. Gaara snapped the chain of the handcuffs with his sand. The girl looked down at her now freed hands then back up at Gaara confused. He started to walk away from her motioning with one hand for her to follow. She hesitated for a moment then obediently began to follow him stumbling after him like a lost puppy.

Gaara had no idea why he'd kept her alive but something compelled him to save her, he didn't really want to kill her so he just dismissed it as not feeling like killing her and taking pity on the poor pathetic creature. He looked back over his shoulder just enough to see her limping after him, he turned around to face her completely allowing her to catch up. When she caught up to him he saw that there was a jagged cut on the outside of her leg. Suddenly Gaara picked her up and slung her over his shoulder.

"Try anything funny," He said in his usual monotone, "and I will kill you." He then began walking again as though she weighed nothing, which she practically did.

"Jinchuriki?" she timidly asked again after a few minutes

Gaara just quirked an eyebrow and kept walking 'is she referring to me as Jinchuriki?' he thought silently.

"Are you?" she asked quietly

"Yes" he answered emotionlessly 'it's not like it's a secret'

"M-May I a-ask w-which one?" she asked timidly

"You just did," Gaara said bluntly, "it's Shukaku."

She then promptly passed out from exhaustion going limp on Gaara's shoulder.

'Did she die?' he wondered glancing at her

"**No" **Shukaku answered in Gaara's head

"Hn" Gaara replied looking back to the road as the boards on the windows and graffiti began to fade away and the hateful stares of those still out returned attempting to glare holes through him. Gaara could hear whispers about what they thought his intentions with the girl were. He stopped abruptly and turned to glare at a large group of teenage girls instantly dispersing them.

He stopped in front of his house, the same house that he had once shared with Yashamaru. Four years ago he had gathered up most of Yashamaru's things and crushed them into nothingness, all that was left of his things were his bed, and a few other furniture pieces. He pushed open the door, it was never locked because Yashamaru had had the key when he died and it didn't need to be locked, no one had the courage to come anywhere near the house.

Gaara carried her upstairs and placed her on Yashamaru's bed. He left only to return a few moments later with a two damp cloths, medicine, and bandaging which he used to clean her wounds on both her leg and her wrists. The ones on her wrists looked extremely painful and burn like so he cleaned them, put burn creme on them and bandaged them. He then moved to her leg with the new cloth, it was deeper than it looked at first and was covered in dirt. He cleaned it then pinched the flesh together using a butterfly bandage (A/N I think that's what their called, they look like two rounded rectangles connected by a thin line) and bandaged it, then left. He went down to the basement closing and locking the door behind him.

NIGHTnightNIGHTnightNIGHTnightNIGHTnightNIGHTnightNIGHTnightNIGHTnightNIGHT

The girl awoke the next day to music coming from somewhere in the house.

'Wait a minute' she thought bolting upright 'where am I?! What happened?!' she panicked then the night's events came back to her. The memories of her rescue and the murder of her captor all flooding back into her head at the same time. She climbed out of bed wincing at the pain in her leg, she looked down surprised to see that it had been bandaged and cleaned along with her wrists which still stung.

She managed to limp to where the stairs were and hobbled down them clinging to the railing for dear life. She made her way slowly down the steps only to trip and fall down the last three steps wincing and making a small pained noise that would have been a scream if she was like normal girls. She whimpered as she stood back up and continued to make her way to the basement door where the music was coming from only to find it locked. She sat next to the door listening to the music that she could hear more clearly now.

(A/N the italics (slanted writing) do not mean flashback here they mean that something is being sung lower within the song if that make any sense.)

"A face that they hold inside, a face that awaits when I close my eyes, a face that watches every time they lie, a face that laughs every time they fall, and watches everything. So you know that when it's time to sink or swim that the face inside is watching you too right inside your skin."

"It's like a, paranoia looking over my back! It's like a whirlwind inside of my head! It's like I can't stop what I'm feeling within! It's like the face inside is right beneath the skin, It's like a paranoia looking over my back it's like a whirlwind inside of my head, it's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within, It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin!"

"The face inside is right beneath your skin"

"the face inside is right beneath your skin"

"The face inside is right beneath your skin"

"The suuuuuuuuuuun goes dooooooooown, I feel the light betray me. The suuuuuuuuuuun goes dooooooooown, I feel the light betray me."

"It's like a, paranoia looking over my back! It's like a whirlwind inside of my head! It's like I

"_The suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun" _

can't stop what I'm feeling within! It's like the face inside is right beneath the skin.

"_I feel the light betray me"_

"It's like a, paranoia looking over my back! It's like a whirlwind inside of my head! It's like I

"_The suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun _

can't stop what I'm hearing within! It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within!"

"_I feel the light betray me"_

"It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within, It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin!"

"_The suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun" _

The song stopped and she could hear a stereo being turned off then footsteps coming up the stairs. He opened the door and looked down at her and she smiled smally back up at him

"Good Morning." she said quietly

"Hn." he grunted walking over to the cupboard in the kitchen and pulling out a box of cereal

"U-umm, p-please, let me m-make you breakfast, as a th-thanks f-for saving me a-and helping me."

"Hn." he grunted again putting the cereal back

She smiled then got up using the wall for support. She managed to get over to the fridge and searched until she found what she was looking for, an almost empty carton of eggs and a half empty package of bacon.

"How do you like your eggs?" she asked still a bit timid

"Scrambled is fine." he said sitting at the table.

Soon the sounds of bacon popping and sizzling and eggs being cooked could be heard throughout the kitchen as the scent filled the house.

She hummed a happy little tune as she cooked leaning on the counter for support, when she finished she served Gaara and sat across from him at the table grinning at him like a little kid that got an A+ on a spelling test.

He tried the eggs and gave a grunt of approval and continued to eat.

"You can eat something if you want to you know" he said after a few minutes.

"Thank you" she said bowing before going over to the cupboard and getting a bowl of the abandoned cereal.

Breakfast continued without a word from either of the two people eating at the table, after they finished she did the dishes and put them away quietly.

"Ummm," she said hesitantly after twenty minutes of silence, "c-can I ask you a qu-question?" she asked timidly.

"Sure" Gaara said emotionlessly

"Wh-what's your name?" she asked

"Gaara, you?"

"Hotaru." she said quietly.

"Hn."

**How'd you like it? I'll update soon but please read and review, arigato!! Flame if you feel it's necessary. **

**Mitsukai-chan **


	2. Chapter 2

Discalimer: I don't own Naruto, Breaking Benjamin, or Linkin Park, but I do own Hotaru XD

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

_flash back_

"**Demon Speaking"**

'**Demon Thinking"**

Thank you to my few reviewers,thantrandomkid, xXTwlight-KunoichiXx, szhismine, and Tuxedo's Mask -xox-, you all rock!!

**Notice/ AN**

I'm pretty sure there will be songs in most chapters because Breaking Benjamin and Linkin Park

are my Muses, they are awesomeness! (I hope that made sense, lol)

Gaara was the first to speak, "You should go take a shower." he said as more of an order than a suggestion.

"Yes, Thank you" she replied bowing

"Stop bowing," Gaara ordered.

"Y-Yes, I'm sorry Gaara-sama" She said almost bowing again

She walked over to the stairs and began to walk up them slowly and painfully. Hotaru soon began to let tears of frustration and agony flow from her soft brown eyes and as Gaara watched her he could have sworn that the temperature in the house began to rise but he brushed it off as just the desert heat.

Suddenly Hotaru collapsed and closed her eyes putting her arms out to try to catch herself as she fell while almost at the top of the stairs.

'This is going to hurt!' she thought as she fell waiting for the sharp impact with the ground

"**She could help herself if she wanted to Gaara" **Shukaku purred knowingly in Gaara's head **"She's deceiving you Gaara let me kill her."**

'Shut up Raccoon!' Gaara yelled in his head

"**She'll betray you, just you watch,"** Shukaku continued as Gaara extended the sand to catch Hotaru

"**You'll regret helping her, Gaara, you'll wish you let me kill her if you get any closer to her"** it cooed trying to convince Gaara to let it have it's way.

The sand wrapped around Hotaru's waist catching her, she smiled weakly at Gaara then her face fell

"I'm sorry" she said quietly "I'm sorry for being such a burden."

"Shut up and take your shower!" he growled as he set her down at the top of the stairs and gripping his head with one hand as the other reaching in her direction as if to push her away.

"Y-Yes, Gaara-sama." she said scurrying towards the bathroom, which was easy to spot as the door was opened revealing the shower and toilet.

--With Gaara--

"**Why don't you let me kill her Gaara?" **Shukaka cooed mockingly in Gaara's head

"**Do you care about that girl? Hmm?" **it pried **"Then I'll kill her, you know I will gain control. When I do I'll make her scream in pain. I'll make her suffer with your hands. I'll make her beg for you to stop, then I'll make her beg you to kill her. Sounds like fun doesn't it Gaara?" **It smiled cruelly in his head

"Shut Up!!" Gaara yelled gripping his head and falling to his knees as shukaku filled his head with imaginary images.

It laughed evilly at Gaara's suffering

"**You're already attached to her aren't you!!"** It roared **"How pathetic! How weak!"**

Shukaku then started to fill Gaara's head with more images of Hotaru dying and suffering.

With Hotaru

Hotaru could hear a deep unfamiliar voice coming from downstairs and quickly finished her shower, shuddering at the things the voice said, mentioning Gaara's name for the second time as she got out wrapping a towel around herself.

"Shut Up!!" She heard gaara yell then she head him hit the floor and the voice laughing evilly

She looked around for her dress but spotted a pile of Gaara's old clothes on the toilet with "girl" scribbled down on a piece of paper. She heard the voice speak again and hurried faster. She threw the baggy t-shirt and pants on over a pair of clean under garments that she had managed to keep in a plastic baggy in case hers were lost or ruined and ran down stairs.

When she got down stairs she saw Gaara collapsed on the floor next to the table, tears streaming down his face, eyes clenched tightly shut.

"Gaara-san!!" she yelled running towards him

"No!!" he yelled fearfully as his eyes snapped open and he scooted away from her "Don't come any closer to me!!"

"Gaara..." she said softly but obeying and stopping

"No!!" He yelled standing up and backing into the table causing the nearby chairs to topple over "I'm a monster you should be afraid of me!! What's wrong with you!! Why aren't you afraid!! I could hurt you, I could kill you!!"

Suddenly her usually passive and gentle nature disappeared and the unnoticeable ring of dark stormy green around her pupils expanded over powering the soft gentle brown. She stomped her foot and spread her arms wide open and started to yell

"You are no more a monster than I am!!" She yelled. Gaara felt the temperature increase for the second time that day.

"You're not the only one who's suffering because of something that they can't control!!" she screamed

"How would you know!!" Gaara yelled back as the sand around the room stirred whipping around him.

"Because!!" she yelled as fire filled the space around her whipping her hair around wildly as it moved with a life of it's own "I've been through things you can't even imagine!! I've screamed for death at the hands of my own father, MY FATHER!! He _never _cared about me!! He sold me for a hundred dollars, A HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS, GAARA!!"

"My father ordered my uncle to kill me when I was seven years old!! The only person who ever "Loved" me! They ripped me to shreds!! I'm only a tool to them!!" He roared pouring out his heart

"At least you're still human!! I'm not even completely human anymore!!" she screamed tears pouring from her eyes as sand met fire and tiny crystals of glass fell where they touched. The fabric on her back began to stretch then ripped as black wings tore through the shirt in a burst of feathers.

"Look at me, Gaara!!" she yelled "Look at what my father did to me!! He sealed a demon in me then experimented on me!! I was his guinea pig for eight _years_!! His own daughter!! Then when I no longer cooperated with him and killed anyone who came into my room HE SOLD ME!! He sold me to that man on my tenth birthday!! ON MY BIRTHDAY!!" The fire around her died down as she sobbed uncontrollably into her hands, her wings drooped partially covering her.

"I," Gaara started letting the sand go limp on the floor "I'm sorry" He said not knowing what else to do

"**Gaara, you didn't forget about me now did you?"** shukaku smirked in Gaara's head as he created a new image in Gaara's head. This time Hotaru could not only hear shukaku but she could also see what Gaara was being forced to see.

**In Shukaku's Night Mare**

Gaara struggled to keep control over Shukaku but was failing miserably, just as Gaara slipped out of control Hotaru came into sight.

"Gaara-kun" she called out to him happily

Gaara's body smirked as she ran towards him smiling only to be slapped across the face by the sand.

"Gaara-kun?" she said hurt and confusion dripping from her voice like the tears rolling down her bloodied cheek.

Gaara's body walked over to her and stopped in front of her smirking as he punched her ruthlessly in the stomach. She doubled over in pain crying profusely.

"Gaara-kun why? What are you doing?" she asked looking pleadingly up at him

His body then kicked her roughly in the side causing her to fall over onto her other side and curl up to try to protect herself. "Gaara-kun, Please stop!" she begged through tears.

"**Get up,"** shukaku ordered through Gaara's body, "**and fight me."**

She obediently stood up "I don't want to fight you Gaara-kun" she said sadly while staring at the ground.

"**Open up your ugly little wings and fight me, you dirty little freak!"** He yelled smacking her with his bare hand covering it in her blood.

She obediently spread her wings then let them rest closed behind her, still refusing to fight him.

Shukaku glared at her and whipped her arms with sand cutting into them and making her cry out in pain.

"Gaara-kun, please! Stop!" she begged but her pleas fell onto Shukaku's deaf ears.

The sand continued to beat her over and over again, soaking her clothes in her own blood as she cried out for Gaara to stop. Soon enough she was fighting with her own demon for control. After a few more bloody blows Hotaru collapsed her demon no longer trying to take control because it knew it was too late, she had lost too much blood. Shukaku let Gaara have control once more as Hotaru began to slip into death.

"Hotaru!!" He yelled rushing to her side and gathering her in his arms.

"D-Don't leave me a-all alone here!! If-If you die I-I'll die!!" Gaara yelled through tears "don't surrender to death!! You can't die!! I never said you were allowed to die!!"

"Kill me Gaara-kun" she whispered "Please?!" she tried to yell but it only resulted in her coughing up more blood. Gaara could see all the damage shukaku had done to her, deep cuts ran all along her fragile body, her clothes ripped and covered in blood, her hair had become matted with her own blood, and one of her wings lay severed on the ground a few feet away.

"No!!" Gaara protested "I'll help you survive, you'll be ok!!"

"Why!?" She asked blood trickling from the corner of her mouth, "Why did you do this to me!! Finish it, kill me!! I don't want to live anymore!!"

"Gaara!!" he heard some one yell from some where far away

"GAARA!! SNAP OUT OF IT!!" the voice yelled getting closer

"GAARA!!" He recognized the voice it was Hotaru's

"Hotaru!" he yelled out to it breaking out of the illusions and returning to reality

"Gaara," Hotaru said gently moving closer to him and touching his hand, "I won't leave you alone, ever, I promise."

He gripped her hand and looked her in the eyes harshly "You're not lying are you?"

"No, I promise, I'll be by your side forever," she said smiling reassuringly, "I owe you my life, and Gaara-kun... you're my first ever friend."

"Hn." he replied emotionless once again but on the inside he was very happy, and Hotaru knew.

Hotaru stood up and went to get a broom to clean up all of the shards of glass on the floor.

"You're my first friend too, Hotaru." He said quietly thinking that nobody would hear but shukaku and himself but Hotaru heard and smiled to herself.

"Hotaru," Gaara said, "what's your demon?"

"Nibi, Nibi no nekomata, the two tailed fire-cat demon." Hotaru informed him still smiling.

"Hn." he grunted watching as she began to sweep up the glass.

**Hope you liked it... wait a minute, I ended the last chapter almost exactly the same!! Sorry!! I'll try to be more original next time with the ending, thank you for reviewing! Please Read and Review! Thank you!!**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not Own Naruto or Evil Angel by Breaking Benjamin

"Speaking"

'thinking'

_flashback_

"**Demon speaking**"

'**Demon thinking**"

thank you for reviewing szhismine, but what happened to everyone else? Pout ah, well. szhismine, you rock!! XD lubs ya!!

Thank you to anyone who's read this far in the story, you rock especially anyone who reviews, luvs ya!! XD

**warning**: ooc-ness

--

It was three and a half years since that day when Hotaru and Gaara had shared their tortured pasts. In the past years they only grew closer both known as demons of Suna and were now inseparable. Hotaru had matured a lot and was now a lot less shy but still obeyed Gaara like a faithful puppy. She had let Gaara know every aspect of her past life right down to her father's reasons for everything he did to her and he'd let her know everything about him.

After she had washed many times, her hair had returned to a lighter shade of dark brown with a white streak that went down her left side right after where her bangs stopped. She still had soft brown eyes that were intermingled with deep green in the center and changed dominance with her mood. Hotaru was slim but not anorexically skinny and was... maturing.

Hotaru now wore things more suited for battle instead of Gaara's old clothes. She had also become a ninja in order to stay close to him at all times and sported her black head band around her upper thigh.

Hotaru's outfit consisted of white shorts that went down to about mid-thigh with black feather patterns along the seams going along the sides and bottom, they were shorter than Gaara would like to have other people see but she refused to wear anything else because of the desert heat and her many fire-based jutsu made it insufferably hot. She also sported White tennis shoes with black accents and a large black feather printed on the outside for all to see. She wore a white jacket with sleeves that went down to her just above her elbows folded up once, and unzipped in the front. It had a large black feather embroidered on the back and two velcro rectangles that could be pulled down in order to let her wings out from the two scars on her back. Underneath the jacket she wore a black tank top that also had matching velcro strips along with a black cord necklace with a large shard of crystal-like glass on it from the day when she had first actually met Gaara. She kept her waist length hair down except for when going into battle when it was pulled into a high ponytail by a black hair tie with a grey stone feather charm on it that doubled as a bracelet.

They walked down the main road of suna side by side ignoring the glares and muttering of the people around them.

"Gaara-kun, did you hear the newest rumor about my wings?" Hotaru asked excitedly walking backwards to face Gaara.

"Hn?" Gaara asked, if you would call it that.

"They're saying that I'm an angel that fell down from Heaven for being evil and then when I tried to go to hell my wings were burned 'cause they didn't want to let me in!" she said grinning excitedly at her companion.

Gaara looked at her with one nonexistent eyebrow raised slightly "And you are happy with that?" he asked emotionlessly

"Uh-huh, it's the best one yet!" she replied returning to his side "Imagine that, what if I really was an angel? An angel with black wings?"

"Then God could not have you, you are mine, you would be an angel of death." Gaara said continuing to walk not showing a hint of emotion.

"That's so sweet Gaara-kun!" she said smiling at him

"Hn." Gaara said continuing to walk.

"Hurry up, Hotaru." Gaara commanded quickening his pace.

She obeyed then whispered in his ear "We're being followed again aren't we?" she asked smiling as not to raise any suspicions from their stalkers.

"Hn." He responded, Hotaru had learned how to discern what his hn's a long time ago and knew that he'd meant yes.

"Wanna fight 'em, lose 'em, or run?" she asked

"I don't care," he answered, "though I'd prefer not to run." Gaara didn't like to look weak or cowardly so he generally chose to fight or simply disappear.

"Hmmm," Hotaru thought putting a hand to her chin, "let's lose 'em." She said wrapping an arm around his waist

"Hn." He answered pulling his friend close and continuing to walk disappearing into sand as the wind blew giving them the appearance of disintegrating into sand.

They reappeared inside of their shared home.

"That never gets old!!" she said discarding her jacket and revealing a black tattoo of the kanji for truth on her right shoulder and flopping down on the couch and hanging upside down "I love your sand it's so awesome!"

Gaara smiled and chuckled at Hotaru who was now hanging off the couch mouth wide open chattering away, hair spilling over onto the floor and pooling under her head like a chocolate water fall tainted by a single stream of white. He snapped the buckles that held his gourd on his back and set it down against the wall.

"Hey, Gaara-kun?" she asked

"Yeah?" he asked speaking more freely now that they weren't in public

"How come the basement door is always locked?" she asked curiously

"Because I have private stuff down there." He said simply.

"Oh, ok!" she said cheerily

"If the doors unlocked feel free to investigate but," he paused warningly, "locked doors are meant to keep things secret, so do not go down there if the door is locked, ok? Otherwise, I don't want you down there."

"No problem Gaara-kun" she said smiling at her dear friend

Gaara chuckled again then stopped and blushed when her shirt fell up to the point of being almost to her chest before she stopped it and yanked it back up. Hotaru blushed a shade of red that rivaled Gaara's hair. She then lost her balance and fell off the couch.

"Ow" she said upside down then reached up with both hands to grab her now throbbing head completely forgetting about her shirt which promptly fell down revealing her black bra with lacy white trimming and white feathers patterns all over it. Gaara blushed and looked away from Hotaru who scrambled to sit upright and pull her shirt back into place. When he finally heard her stop scurrying to fix her misplaced clothing he looked over at her to see her blushing and remembering the heat in his own cheeks attempted to look away but couldn't.

"So..." Hotaru said embarrassed "That was embarrassing."

"Hn." Gaara answered now staring down at the floor a blush still adorning his cheeks.

"I-I'm gonna go take a shower now" she said blushing and bowing at Gaara.

"Don't do that." He reminded her quietly.

"Oh, sorry Gaara-kun" she said quietly and went upstairs.

He watched her go then groaned and ran a hand through his blood red hair and flopped back on the couch.

"Hotaru, what have you done to me?" he asked

–**With Hotaru– **

Hotaru peeled her clothes off and stepped into the shower letting the warm liquid cascade over her tense muscles. She ran a hand through her long hair and sighed.

"Gaara-kun, what have you done to me?" she asked quietly.

After Hotaru finished her shower she walked down stairs in her pajamas, a pair of Gaara's old sweat pants that he'd outgrown and one of his old baggy T-shirts that's collar had gotten stretched out during one of their "fights" and now hung over her shoulder. They only "fought" when Gaara tried to leave to kill for the shukaku when Hotaru was still awake and consisted of Hotaru hanging onto an article of Gaara's clothing until he agreed to stay or told her to let go. On the night that she had stretched out his shirt collar, which was part of his pajama's at the time, it had been storming out. It was a storm with dry thunder and needless to say Hotaru was terrified and had begged him not to leave her alone through tears. Eventually clinging to his neck and sobbing she managed to get him to stay but the next day she had to let him go kill someone for shukaku, no questions or clinging.

Hotaru took her spot next to Gaara who still hadn't moved from his spot on the couch and had his eyes closed but she knew he was awake, he never slept. She started to gently trace his kanji with her finger

"Don't." he said grabbing her hand eyes still closed.

"Sorry Gaara-kun." she said trying to pull her hand back gently but he tightened his grip not willing to let her go. She stopped pulling and squeezed his hand back.

"Mm, Hotaru?" he asked "Why do you bother tolerating me when I'm so cold?"

"Because you're the only person that's not cold to me." she said closing her eyes and leaning against him "You're all I have, and all I need, forever, my first friend. My only friend."

"Gaara?" she asked imitating him "why do you bother putting up with me when I'm so annoying and childish?"

"Because," he said opening his eyes and looking down at her, "you're the only person who doesn't annoy me and understands me, and you're my first and only friend. You are my light and no one else can have you, you belong to me."

She smiled, she was used to his possessiveness and knew that he meant well. The other people in the village didn't understand, though, they thought that he was a horrible monster keeping her in a cage like a bird and forcing her to obey and "sing" for him and him alone. They would never understand either of them, ever. They were the monsters not Hotaru and Gaara. Gaara killed people in the bad part of Suna because if he didn't then Shukaku would go crazy and overpower him and go on a killing rampage and destroy the entire village.

A loud clap of thunder shook Hotaru out of her thoughts as she clung to Gaara who was startled by her at first but soon wrapped his arms around her protectively. Without realizing it he started to hum.

Hotaru whimpered as another roar of thunder sounded through the desert.

"C'mon." Gaara said standing up and dragging Hotaru with him by the hand. He walked over to the door in the basement and used the sand to unlock it. (A/N who needs a key? lol) She followed Gaara down the stairs still clutching his hand nervously when they were just a few steps from the bottom another roll of thunder sounded rattling the windows, Hotaru jumped and wound up tripping and falling onto a surprised Gaara who turned just in time to catch her and fell back only to be caught by his sand. And set down at the bottom of the stairs. Hotaru was blushing madly being wrapped up in Gaara's arms after she'd tripped and he wasn't letting go.

"Are you ok?" he asked holding her shoulders and inspecting her for any minor wounds.

"Y-yeah, I-I'm fine G-Gaara-kun." she said trying to wiggle out of his grip. He looked up at her then straightened his back and smirked. "Hotaru, you're blushing."

"W-Well so were you e-earlier, c-captain o-obvious!" she said in her own defense, he still hadn't let go of her shoulders. "N-Now, please, l-let me go, Gaara-kun."

"What if I don't want to, Hotaru?" He asked, he didn't, he liked having her close to him and wanted to stay close to her, and Gaara generally got what he wanted, at least when it came to Hotaru.

"U-um I-I u-ummm." she stuttered

"This is my basement." he said motioning with one hand then turning her to hold her from behind so she could see the room.

There was an old tan couch with rips here and there, and shelves built into the wall along with a large stereo system and an old black electric guitar in the corner. She could tell it hadn't been played in a while, if at all, from all the dust gathered on it. On one of the shelves an old teddy bear lay discarded along with an old deflating playground ball from the suna ninja academy. There were various articles of clothing scattered throughout the basement along with other various items. A large stack of CD's was placed next to the stereo.

She was pulled out of her observations by Gaara putting his chin on her exposed shoulder. "There's a song that I want you to hear because it makes me think of you." he whispered to her making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and a shiver go up her spine causing her to shudder.

Gaara switched on the stereo using the sand and found the song then sat on _his_ couch with _his_ Hotaru on _his_ lap wrapped in _his_ arms. He didn't know what he was feeling, it was so knew to him and so different than anything he'd felt before, and he liked it and didn't want it to stop.

(A/N songs playing now if you want to know the name, It's Firefly by breaking Benjamin)

"You my friend, you're a lot like them, but I caught your lie, and you know I did!"

"Now I'm lost in you, like I always do, and I'll die to win, 'cause I'm born to lose"

"Firefly, Could you shine your light? Now I know your ways, 'cause they're just like mine"

"Now I'm justified, as I fall in line, and it's hard to try when they're open wide"

"Take my hand, we'll be off and then, we'll come back again to a different land"

"Now I like this way, you can go away, if you guess a name, you can not replace"

"Firefly! Could you shine your light? Now I know your ways 'cause they're just like mine"

"now I'm justified as I fall in line, and it's hard to try when they're open wide"

"Bring me your enemies, lay them before me, and walk away, Walk away! WALK AWAY!"

"Firefly, could you shine your light? Now I know your ways 'cause they're just like mine"

"now I'm justified as I fall in line, and it's hard to try when they're open wide"

"fuckin' Firefly have you lost your light? Now I hate your ways 'cause they're just like mine"

"so you've lost my friend, such a sorry end, and I don't know why so I choke and smile, SMILE!"

The song ended and Hotaru twisted to look at Gaara "b-because my name -mmeans firefly?" she asked

"Yeah that and the actual lyrics." he said eyes closed and chin still on her bare shoulder.

"H-How so?" she asked

"You are a lot like them, but you are a lot like me and I caught you lie about being happy all the time, I know that you're not really happy all the time," he started, "and I'd die to keep you close to me, to win, because I was born to be alone, to lose."

"'Firefly, Could you shine your light' I want you to shine your light on me, and you make me feel right so "now I'm justified" as I fall into place "as I fall in line" and it's hard to try make you open your arms to accept me when they've been open all along accepting me for who I am" a faint blush crept across his face, "'Take my hand, we'll be off and then, we'll come back again to a different land' becomes: I want to hold your hand and keep you away from all the hurtful people, and be the one leading you away from them by the hand and take you away until they change and won't hurt you."

Hotaru was blushing deep red still looking at Gaara as he kept his eyes closed seeming unaffected except for his faint blush.

""Now I like this way, you can go away, if you guess a name" becomes: I like being with you this way, you can leave if you want to, but I'm scared that you might, and then one day call me a monster which is the name you guess."You can not replace" you can't be replaced, you're one of a kind and I could never find anyone else like you," his voice was unaffected but his cherry red blush said otherwise, " "I know your ways cuz they're just like mine" turns into you're a lot like me in what's happened to you but you act nothing like me, the cold sadistic killer." he opened his eyes to see her looking at him.

" 'bring me your enemies, lay them before me and walk away' becomes: if any one hurts you tell me and I will punish them because no one can touch you, you are mine, and turn away so you won't have to see me deal them their punishment." He continued paused for a moment, "the rest is more of in the future. 'fuckin' Firefly have you lost your light? Now I hate your ways 'cause they're just like mine' is that I think that I might take away all of your light and plunge us both into darkness and I don't want you to be like me because I like to see you smile and I don't want to see you have to kill for your demon that you can't control. 'so you've lost my friend, such a sorry end, and I don't know why so I choke and smile' means if you lose your light I'll feel horrible because I turned you into a miserable, dark, and sadistic person just like me and I don't know why I feel this way about you so I'll just choke on my fears and feelings and keep going like nothings wrong" He finished

He stayed emotionless, his only defense against the psychological turbulence he was feeling.

"Gaara-kun," she started, "let me go."

He reluctantly obeyed feeling an immense searing pain in his chest. Then he felt Hotaru's soft gentle hand on his face and quickly covered it with one of his own rough and calloused ones and starred her in the eyes. Hotaru was sitting close to him on the couch and smiling gently.

'She's going to say it,' he thought silently, 'she's going to tell me that she can't be around me anymore, that she hates me and wants nothing to do with me then she'll say it. She's going to call me a monster.'

"You are a not monster, I'll always be by your side, I won't leave you, not now, not ever," she said touching her forehead to his blushing, "I-I love you, Gaara-kun."

"H-Hotaru?" he asked momentarily losing his composure.

The next thing he knew he felt a pair of soft, gentle, hesitant lips on his own. Gaara's eyes went wide with shock. She pulled away blushing profusely and stuttering "I-I-I'm s-sorry Gaara-kun!" she said tears filling her eyes pulling Gaara out of his shock at her sudden actions.

"Don't be." he said then kissed her passionately. She was shocked at first then slowly eased into the kiss wrapping her arms around Gaara's neck. A clap of thunder that had previously been drown out by the music sounded causing Hotaru to gasp and allowed Gaara to slip his tongue into her mouth. There was a short battle for dominance that quickly ended with Gaara as the victor. Eventually they had to part for air panting slightly and flushed.

"I love you too, Hotaru." Gaara said holding her in his arms.

"Mmm." she breathed snuggling into his chest and gripping his shirt with one hand letting him hold her.

The next song on the CD started to play as she slipped into unconsciousness in Gaara's embrace.

(A/N: lyrics are for the song Rain by Breaking Benjamin)

"Take a photograph, it'll be the last, not a dollar or a crowd could ever keep me here"

"I don't have a pass I just have a chance, not a family or honest plea when rains to say"

"Rain rain go away, come again another day, all the world is waiting for the sun"

"is it you I want? Or just a notion love? We're all to wrap around so I can find my way around"

"safe to say from here, you're getting closer now, we never said between were not allowed to be"

"Rain rain, go away, come again another day all the world is waiting for the sun"

"Rain rain, go away, come again another day all the world is waiting for the sun"

"to lie here under you is all that I could ever do, to lie here under you is all"

"to lie here under you is all that I could ever do, to lie here under you is all"

"Rain rain, go away, come again another day all the world is waiting for the sun"

"Rain rain, go away, come again another day all the world is waiting for the sun"

"all the world is waiting for the sun"

"all the world is waiting for the sun"

**So what'd you think? I know that a lot of it is just the songs but hey at least the second one is easier to read, and it ended differently this time instead of ending with Hotaru answering a question and Gaara saying "hn." please comment, I am begging you, please comment! Zomg this is officially the longest chapter for a story that I have ever written, yay!!**

**Comment and you'll get a cookie!! XD**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

"Talking"

'thinking/speaking to demon'

_Flash Back_

"**Demon Talking"**

'**Demon thinking'**

**Translations**

Okaa-chan is how a little kid might say "Mommy" but with more respect than "Mommy" carries because of the "O." Hope that helped you at least a little.

The next morning Hotaru awoke in Gaara's arms by a rather large crashing sound nearby.

"Gaa–" she was cut off by a hand over her mouth.

She turned to see that she was no longer in Gaara's arms but in the arms of some foreign person dressed in all black, even their face was covered in black material. She began kicking and screaming and biting the mans hand, he glared at her with his hateful dark grey eyes. She bit his hand leaving a hole burnt into his glove and burn marks where her teeth had been that were sure to leave a scar.

"Gaara!!" she screamed trying to get to him, she could see him fighting off about ten other ninjas dressed in black with around twelve more lying dead on the floor. He looked over to her and yelled an inhuman voice tainting his already rough voice "Hotaru! Fly! Leave!" He ordered.

She let her wings out pushing the ninja off of her and burning him to a pile of ashes in a mere minute before turning her attention back to Gaara.

"Damnit, Hotaru didn't you hear me?! I told you to get out of here!!" He bellowed killing off another Ninja as she rushed to his side to help him.

"No! I won't leave you!!" she yelled while drawing a kunai to fight off another Ninja that came flying at her from the stairs. She threw the kunai heating it into a white hot blade that would slice through the ninja like he was butter, which it did, right between the eyes, imbedding itself deep within his brain spattering blood everywhere as it hit the wall behind him and stuck. Two more ninja bolted down the stairs to replace some of their fallen comrades.

"How many are there?!" Hotaru yelled in frustration as she attempted to nail the other two with her white hot kunai only succeeding in killing one of them and just scathing the other who yelled out in pain at the sudden third degree burns to his side.

"I can't tell!! They're damn good at hiding themselves, shukaku couldn't even sense them until that bastard had you!" he yelled over all the noise in the room from sand shifting and jetting out to kill the seemingly endless stream of ninjas.

"Genjutsu!!" Hotaru yelled then forming the tiger seal yelled "Release!"

The Ninjas in the room all disappeared leaving the two alone in the room with three men in black cloaks with red clouds on them and straw hats effectively concealing their identities.

"Perhaps I should have used something a bit stronger on you two, perhaps Mangekyou?" one said dropping his hat to the floor to reveal a pair of onyx eyes and long black hair.

"Uchiha Itachi!" Hotaru snarled grabbing another kunai from the hem of her shorts, she had special compartments in them so she could store them there but wouldn't get cut by the sharp throwing knives.

"Hn. It's been a long time little one." he said smirking menacingly.

"Then one of you must be his man whore, Kisame." she snarled.

"Now now, Hotaru-chan, must you call names?" Kisame said dropping his hat to join Itachi's and revealing his blue skin and cruel jagged smile.

"You know them?" Gaara asked mildly confused.

"Acquaintances of my fathers, used to talk to them a lot, thought they'd be friends." she answered not taking her eyes off the menacing trio.

"Hn." Gaara responded glaring at the three, crossing his arms and glaring out of habit.

"Be careful, Gaara," she warned leaving out the honorific for times sake and pointing to Itachi with her kunai, "don't look him in the eyes, bloodline trait, sharingan." Hotaru then pointed her kunai at Kisame "Don't touch the sword, chakra sucker."

"Hn." Gaara responded taking mental notes.

"See now that's why we can't leave you out like this, you know us too well Hotaru-chan, un." the third one said lifting his hat exposing his face half covered by his yellow-blonde bang.

"Deidra, I'm not one of your play things! Gaara, don't get his clay stuck anywhere, explosive consequences, watch the hands, they bite." Hotaru informed her companion.

Gaara quirked an invisible eyebrow at her explanation but shook it off and continued to glare at them avoiding eye contact with the Uchiha.

"Monsters." Itachi said smirking.

"And you're not!!" Hotaru yelled angrily "Damn you, Itachi!! Damn you to hell!!"

She through her kunai, glowing white hot, straight at his stomach. Itachi disappeared only to reappear beside her knocking her out with a swift blow to the back of her neck and catching her, the sand wrapped around his form and began to crush him causing him to drop her only for them to both disappear in a puff of smoke. Gaara growled inhumanly as sand whipped around him dispersing the other shadow clones in a puff of smoke. He tore through the house half his face transformed to look like shukaku.

"Hotaru!!" Gaara roared as he crushed the front door in time to see the three holding a struggling Hotaru who now had a seal on her chakra visible on her now exposed stomach from the brutal ripping of the bottom of her tank top, and leather straps on her back keeping her from spreading her now painfully trapped wings. Tears poured from her eyes at her excruciating pain from both the seal, her bindings, and the thought of being ripped from Gaara. Her kunai now lay abandoned on the desert floor as she struggled helplessly.

"Gaara!!" She called out to him through tears.

"**Let me kill them Gaara!!"** Shukaku roared in Gaara's head **"They can not have what is** **ours!!" **

"Then do it!! Just don't hurt her shukaku!!" Gaara yelled out loud to shukaku

"**I will and I will not." **shukaku growled ferociously through Gaara's mouth.

Deidra threw a small clay bird into the air between the quickly forming demon and his group where it quickly expanded.

"No!!" Hotaru screamed sobbing "Gaara!! GAARA!!" she shrieked as they jumped onto the large bird.

–Kazekages' office–

"Kazekage-sama!!" a guard yelled bursting into the office to see said Kazekage staring out his window at the events unfolding.

"What should we do?!" the panicked guard asked

"Nothing, they're leaving aren't they?" He said simply

"But Gaara–" he started

"He'll follow them, then he might get himself killed," he said uninterested then he heard a girl shriek his sons name and smirked, "He won't kill anyone here, He'll definitely follow them, they've got his little demon whore, then he'll probably lose them, break, and then come back a shell of a person filled with hatred for the world and more easily bent to my will."

"Then they'll have the power of that little winged demon girl!!" the Guard said still panicking and now angry "and isn't he your son?! How can you be so cruel?! What kind of a Kazekage are you?!"

"She won't do anything for them, not unless Gaara tells her to." he said then watched more intently waiting for them to kill the girl and break his son, "by the way, you will now be put under arrest and a stripped of all rank for treason." two more ninjas dressed in the standard ANBU uniforms dropped from no where and then puffed away with the stunned guard. The Kazekage sat there anxiously, a true cold sadistic monster, waiting for the two who had only each other to be roughly ripped apart, waiting excitedly for them to break his youngest son.

–Gaara and Hotaru–

As the bird flew upward towards the heavens where Hotaru was rumored to have been banished from, the broken angel screamed the name of her dear friend and only love repeatedly.

The sand futilely attempted to catch the horrid white bird that carried away the one thing that it's master had.

"**HOTARU!!" **Gaara yelled through Shukaku's voice their voices mixing as the sand grabbed for the bird once again from both sides only to collide with itself roughly and shoot up after the bird.

'Be careful Shukaku!! You'll hurt her!!' Gaara yelled worried in his own mind so only Shukaku heard.

'**Trust in me, I will not damage what belongs to us.**' shukaku assured his container roughly as he continued to lash out at the bird that dodged the many blows gracefully as it's precious cargo cried out for it's master, tears falling to the desert floor like the rain had the night before, when Hotaru and Gaara had confessed their feelings which only fueled the sands attempts to catch that horrible white clay bird.

"**HOTARU!!"**He roared again

"Gaara!!" she responded reaching out to him with her now freed hand as she struggled to be free of Itachi's grip leaning over the edge of the bird. Itachi pulled her back onto the bird but let her stay conscious to torment Gaara with her cries and torture her with Gaara's futile attempts to save her, letting her know that he was just out of reach and letting her build up more hopes to be crushed.

They made their way away from Suna gaining speed, slowly losing Gaara. Hotaru began to struggle more violently.

"Let me go!!" she pleaded through tears, "Let me go!! Let me go to him!! Gaara!! I need him, he needs me!! Let me go!! I love him!! Let me go!! GAARA!!"

She could see that Gaara was getting farther and farther behind and would soon be out of earshot then she would no longer be able to see him and she didn't know if she'd ever see him again so she yelled out to him one last time.

"Gaara!! I love you!! I always will and remember that you'll never be alone, I will always be yours!! I love you so much, Gaara!!" she said her tears making her voice waver and crack as she felt the horrible tearing pain in her chest double, she felt like her heart was being ripped to shreds as she was pulled farther and farther from Gaara.

"**Hotaru!!"** Gaara's voice boomed like he was speaking through a microphone, "**I love you!! And I **_**will**_ **save you!! YOU ARE MINE THEY CAN'T HAVE YOU"**

He turned his attention to the members of the Akatsuki that were had caught bound his dark angel and were taking her from him as he unleashed as much sand as he could with his depleting chakra onto them. **"YOU CAN NOT HAVE HER!!"** Shukaku and Gaara bellowed together voices mixing as they unleashed their final effort to catch the vile bird and it's pilots with their stolen cargo. It just barely scathed them as they flew out of sight, Hotaru's cries for Gaara echoing through the quiet morning then slowly faded as the sand around Gaara began to run down back onto the desert floor like water trickling away from the now broken boy.

Gaara fell forward as everything around him seemed to turn dark, cold, and menacing. He felt the long forgotten pain in his chest that Hotaru had healed three short years ago return tenfold as he was ripped to shreds by her sudden departure from himself. He hit his knees, tears stinging his eyes, on the newly formed mountain of sand and yelled out with all his pain "HOTARU!!" he yelled letting his head fall back towards the desert sky.

"Why?" Gaara sobbed "Why?!" he yelled in frustration.

"Why me? Why her? WHY?!" he slammed hist fists into the sand in front of him.

"It hurts," Gaara whimpered falling onto his side sobbing uncontrollably, "Hotaru... It hurts!" He whimpered clutching his shirt over his heart.

"**Gaara," **Shukaku panted it's chakra almost completely depleted, **"we got something."**

Gaara saw a small amount of sand trickling near him through his tears and grabbed what it carried just as it fell to the ground limp. He brought his fist close to his face and opened it to see her hair tie slash bracelet with the stone feather charm. Gaara cried harder as he remembered when she'd gotten it.

_Flash back_

_Hotaru and Gaara walked through the busy market as people cleared a path for the two demon vessels. Hotaru walked cheerfully behind her stoic friend then she spotted something at a cart and raced over to it pulling Gaara by the arm like an excited little kid. She stopped at the cart and pointed to a small black elastic band with a small stone feather charm on it._

"_Look Gaara-kun! Isn't it pretty?" she asked excitedly _

"_Hn." He answered then looked up at the frightened dealer, "How much?" Gaara demanded._

"_Free! Take it!!" the old man yelled frightened. _

"_Really?" Hotaru asked looking at Gaara for permission who just shrugged._

"_Thank you!!" she said politely as she picked it up and smiled sweetly at the elderly man._

"_Leave!! Please, I don't want any trouble!!" He yelled backing into the wall behind his cart._

"_Wait, I want to thank you!" Hotaru said rummaging through her pocket and producing a shard of crystal like glass like the one on her necklace. "It's got chakra in it from my chakra burning fire and Gaara-kun's chakra infused sand, it's really pretty and someone might like it so..." she placed it on his cart and backed away to return to Gaara's side looking down at her feet._

"_C'mon," Gaara said gruffly to Hotaru while glaring at the man, "forget him." He ordered_

_She nodded as a few tears slipped down her cheeks and she quickly wiped them away. _

"_Why is everyone afraid of us? Why do they hate us? We didn't do anything to them!" Hotaru asked her hands fisting at her sides._

"_Because, we are different," Gaara said glaring at the people scurrying to get out of their way, "and they're afraid of things that are different." He stopped talking for a moment then added in a low growl, "And I kill people."_

"_So do they!!" Hotaru yelled back defiantly. _

"_They kill for Suna and the kazekage, I kill for the Shukaku and his blood lust, we have different reasons." He explained in his monotone._

"_But--" Hotaru started only to be cut off by Gaara_

"_Enough," He ordered, "leave it be."_

"_Yes, Gaara-kun." Hotaru said obediently dropping the subject, then smiled up at Gaara, "Can we get ice cream?" she asked hopefully. _

"_Yes." He answered an unnoticeable smile just barely tugging at the corners of his lips._

–_End Flash Back–_

"Hotaru!" Gaara called quietly, pain dripping from his voice, "Don't leave me alone! I need you!"

Gaara's thoughts then turned to his father as he momentarily thought about asking him for help to rescue his counterpart but he quickly dismissed these thoughts as he remembered how no one else had come to stop the Akatsuki from kidnaping Hotaru. He glared into the desert sky as he rolled over on his back spreading his arms out and letting his tears glide down the sides of his face as he watched the sun rise, reminding him of Hotaru.

"Hotaru!" he croaked one last time before slipping into unconsciousness.

–Hotaru–

"No!!" she cried "Let me go!! Take me back!! Itachi!! Deidra!! Kisame!! Why!!"

"I told you, un," Deidra said smiling wickedly at their captive, "you know too much about us, un."

"I promise I won't tell anyone!!" she pleaded with them, "I don't even know who you are!!"

"Nice try, kid," Kisame said turning his head to face her, "but we can't be sure of that, now can we, considering that you so easily gave information to that little sand boy."

"Please! I promise it won't do it again!!" Hotaru begged them new tears streaming down her face, "I'm sorry!! Let me go back to him!!"

"You weren't lying were you? You really did fall in love with someone, didn't you?" Itachi asked smirking, "How disgusting."

'Nibi!!' Hotaru cried out in her mind blocking out the cruel people around her.

"**I can not break the chakra seal, my child." **the enormous female cat demon said appearing before her behind the bars that Hotaru quickly wiggled between running to her demon.

'Okaa-chan, it's not fair!' Hotaru said crying into the demons fur, 'Why me? Why us?'

"**Shhhhh, be quiet my child, it is all going to be alright."** Nibi comforted her container nuzzling her cheek and lying down. Hotaru had a relationship with her demon that most of the other jinchuriki never would, Nibi had accepted her fate and taken Hotaru in as her adoptive daughter allowing her to use her strengths as her own. Nibi had a blood lust like no other but she managed to keep it at bay with Hotaru's missions

'Why?' Hotaru repeated over and over again into the fur of Nibi's chest.

"**I do not know why, my child, but I know that Gaara-san will not let them keep you,"** Nibi said wrapping her tail around Hotaru's tiny form, **"as he has said many times before, you are his, even though I like to think that you are mine you **_**are**_** his, and as you know he does not share."**

'That's exactly why I'm so worried, Okaa-chan!!' Hotaru cried, 'Gaara-kun will die if he tries to save me! They're too strong for him, he's not ready for something like this! They'll kill him!!'

"**They will do no such thing, you forget that shukaku has hundreds of years of experience," **Nibi said, "**and as I remember he also considers us as theirs."**

'But he couldn't even catch the bird!' Hotaru cried into Nibi's fur.

"**Hold your tung child, Gaara was to afraid that he'd hurt you if he fully unleashed shukaku so he kept some control over him, which is understandable," **Nibi scolded her daughter, "**considering how badly he wanted to kill you at first but I had a few good talks with him."**

'You did?' Hotaru asked looking up at the cat demon, 'How?'

"**We tailed beasts have our ways, child" **Nibi purred.

'I didn't know,' Hotaru apologized, 'thank you Okaa-chan.'

"**Now be strong, for Gaara-san, and stop your tears child," **Nibi said wiping Hotaru's tears with her tail, "**Do not give them the satisfaction of letting them know how deeply they have hurt you."**

'Right,' Hotaru said wiping her tears for real, 'I will be strong for Gaara-kun.'

"**That's my girl," **Nibi purred, **"now return to the real world, my child, and show them that they can not hurt you"**

Hotaru smiled one last time at her adoptive mother then disappeared pulling her self out of her mind and returning herself to the pain of the real world. Her heart still ached but she didn't let it show and put on an emotionless mask that she had seen Gaara wear so many times before.

"When will we arrive at your... lair?" she asked no longer struggling knowing it would get her no where.

"Hn? Speaking again now are we?" Itachi asked looking down at his captive.

"Hn." she responded in a very Gaara like manner.

"Ugh," Deidra groaned, "another hn-er, Itachi-san you already contaminated her with your horrible answer for everything, un!"

Hotaru glared at the blonde.

"I will not be compared to the Uchiha who could not bring himself to kill his little brother." She stated sounding more and more like Gaara.

"You little!" Itachi said getting ready to deal a deadly blow to the girl.

"Itachi-sama," Kisame warned, "Leader-sama ordered us to bring her back alive, don't lose you temper and kill her."

"Hn." Itachi responded backing off.

"I thought it was weird that you didn't just kill me." Hotaru stated in her newfound monotone.

It was quiet for a while until they came to an cave like opening in the side of a mountain.

"We're here, un." Deidra said steering the giant clay bird into the opening of the cave.

They all stood, Itachi throwing Hotaru over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

'Gaara-kun, I'm scared!' she thought to herself being careful not to let it show on her face.

The bird shrunk back down to it's original size and the three outlaws all landed smoothly on their feet inside the cave. Anyone who might be watching would have only seen the silhouette of a large bird fly into a cave that could have been it's nest, and would be to afraid to investigate or just ignore it as wildlife.

They walked to the back of the cave where Itachi handed Hotaru off to Deidra who smiled at her trying to spark up some trust and she smiled back weakly.

'Better stop pissing them off and make the best of things, for Gaara-kun.' she thought remembering how Gaara hadn't wanted her to become like him and wanted her to keep her light.

Itachi flew through some hand signs then slapped his hand to the wall revealing an opening.

"Cool." Hotaru said as they walked through the door.

"Warming up to us now, un?" Deidra said looking st her.

"Eh, it's best to make the best of bad things." she said shrugging, "And Deidra, you guys didn't break my legs, I can walk."

"Who says you won't try to run?" Kisame asked.

"I'm not stupid, I know when I'm in way over my head, if I tried to run you'd have no problem catching me," she said rolling her eyes, "unless I magically undo the chakra seal and chew through the leather straps I can't do much, and incase you didn't notice, we're kinda on a cliff so even if I did try to run I wouldn't get far without killing myself and even then I'd just be at the bottom of the mountain thingy."

"She's got a point, un." Deidra agreed.

"Hn." Itachi agreed closing the opening with a few more hand signs.

"Fine then." Kisame agreed.

Deidra put her down, glad to be free of the extra weight.

"Thanks Dei-chan." Hotaru said grinning as Deidra frowned at the old nickname.

"Dei-chan?" Itachi and Kisame asked in unison quirking an eyebrow then bursting out laughing, well Kisame did at least and Itachi just kind of chuckled.

"Don't call me that, un." Deidra ordered.

"Ok, Dei-chan-sama." Hotaru said smiling innocently.

Deidra sweat dropped and Kisame fell back laughing while Itachi just smirked amused.

"You are disgusting, monster." Itachi said trying to upset her again.

"I liked you better when you just sat around angsting Ita-san." she said fake pouting.

Itachi glared at her, "You will refrain from calling me that, monster."

"I'm just saying..." Hotaru said raising her hands in the air defensively.

"Hey I just remembered something, remember when I first met you Kisame?" she asked.

"No, I don't seem to recall." Kisame answered.

"Aww, you gotta remember," she said as they turned a corner, "I pointed to you and said "fishy," I was like five, remember?"

"I do now." Kisame grumbled and glared at Deidra who was trying to hide his laughter.

"As do I." Itachi spoke up.

"You finally gonna be nice?" Hotaru asked looking to Itachi.

"No, Monster." Itachi responded smirking.

"Ugh, you're a lost cause." she said throwing her arms up in the air.

"As are you." he said smirking.

Hotaru stuck her tung out at him which wasn't exactly what any of them had expected.

"Hey, when are you guys gonna take this thing and these off?" Hotaru asked pointing to the seal and the leather straps.

"Why would we, Monster?" Itachi asked raising an eyebrow.

"Because, my wings hurt now and the seal stings 'cause Nibi is hell bent on breaking it," Hotaru said putting her hand on her hips, "and I can't pull the wings in without using chakra so could you please either undo the straps or release the seal for a minute?"

Kisame and Deidra looked at Itachi who gave them a look that said "I want nothing to do with this" then looked at each other hesitantly.

"What do you think I'll do, set your _stone_ hide out on fire or fly away while in a cave?" Hotaru asked pleadingly, "I promise I won't do anything, my wings just hurt."

"Ok," they said giving in, Hotaru had a way of bringing out the best in every one.

"Thank you." she said smiling gratefully at them as they undid the straps.

She immediately stretched them to their full extent giving her the appearance of a dark angel "ahhh, much better, thank you, Deidra-san, Kisame-san." Hotaru said grateful to be able to spread her wings again.

She let them fall into a resting position looking even more like a dark angel.

"You guys didn't happen to grab my jacket did you?" Hotaru asked hopefully.

"Maybe, un..." Deidra said looking away from the group and rummaging through his cloak producing the white jacket.

"Wow, I was expecting you to say no." Hotaru said honestly as she slipped the jacket on.

"Why?" Kisame asked Deidra.

"Well, I remembered her from when the Akatsuki was first forming and I kinda felt like I should, un," Deidra said nonchalantly, "she's always had a way of bringing out the best in every body, except Itachi-san, un."

Itachi growled.

"Behave weasel-boy." Hotaru said crossing her arms.

"I wish to kill you, badly." Itachi said glaring at Hotaru.

"So did shukaku." Hotaru said then sighed and frowned sadly as she thought of Gaara.

"What ever happened to you crying and screaming about that Gaara kid?" Kisame asked

"I decided that I'm going to be strong for Gaara-kun," Hotaru said smiling brightly, "I know that he'll come for me one day but I don't want him to right now because he'll get killed, he's not ready yet. I know he's hurting right now and I probably should be too but I have to be strong until he comes for me." She finished still smiling at the stunned trio.

"You've got a lot of faith in that brat." Kisame said stating the obvious.

"I love him" Hotaru said smiling even brighter.

The three stared at her for a few minutes then were shaken out of their thoughts as they reached a large door.

"You're on your own now, kid." Kisame said as they stopped.

"Good luck, un." Deidra said smiling.

"Hurry up, monster." Itachi said glaring at Hotaru.

"O-Ok." Hotaru said momentarily losing her composure and staring at the door scared. Hotaru regained her composure and smiled before pushing the huge stone door open and walking in. The door slammed shut behind her causing her to jump and eep in surprise, losing all of her confidence.

"Hotaru, Jinchuriki of the Nibi No Nekomata." A loud male voice came from a large throne. Hotaru could make out the silhouettes of two people, one that looked female and one that was seated in the chair with glowing red-orange eyes.

"Y-Yes?" Hotaru answered timidly.

"You will now be in the servitude of the akatsuki, I am Leader-sama, you will address me as such," the person in the chair ordered, "You _will_ obey me and do as I command."

"I'm sorry, Leader-sama," Hotaru said bowing her head and allowing her bangs to cover her eyes while dropping to one knee and allowing one arm to rest on her knee and the other to support her, "I obey only one master, I am sorry but I will not obey you unless my master orders me to do so."

"Ok, I will humor you," the man mocked her, "who is your master, Hotaru?"

Hotaru lifted her gaze to meat his, "A man named death."

**This chapter is even longer than my last!! Please review!! I'm begging you, I worked hard on this!! Flame if you feel that I need to be flamed, please don't hold back.**

**Mitsukai: ftw?! I thought you were supposed to be shy Hotaru?!**

**Hotaru: I was being strong for Gaara-kun!!**

**Mitsukai: I swear you must have multiple personalities.**

**Hotaru: starts to cry **

**Mitsukai: I'm sorry!! hugs**

**Mitsukai: If you're wondering "ftw happened to Gaara?!" you'll see in the next chapter. **

**Hotaru: please review Mitsukai-chan's starting to go a little crazy and I'm kinda scared not to mention the fact that she got me kidnapped. Oh and by the way ftw is wtf backwards please do not be confused by Mitsukai-chan's oddness. smiles sweetly **

**Mitsukai: T.T you're horribley wonderful Hotaru, I thought I could avoid this by making you shy but that backfired.**

**Hotaru: I'm sorry!! **


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, but I do own a rather large Gaara poster.

"Talking"

'Thinking'

_Flashback_

"**Demon Talking"**

'**Demon Thinking'**

Thank you sooo much to those few who reviewed, I love you guys!! You are my Hero's!! You know who you are (and I'm typing on a computer without internet or you'd get special mention, I'll try to put it in later but you guys rock!!)

**Japanese in the chapter:**

Otou-sama means father

Tou-chan/san is like saying daddy

Nee-chan (pronounced: nay-chan) is big sister

Nii-san/chan/sama (pronounced: nee-san/chan/sama) is big brother

"A man named death?" The man sneered.

"Yes," Hotaru responded emotionlessly, "a man named death."

"Did this man happen to finish your name, Hotaru?" He asked hitting a nerve.

"I am Hotaru, I have no other name." Hotaru said standing up tall bangs overshadowing her eyes.

"Oh is that so?" The man taunted her "A girl with no last name, no family? Where did you come from Hotaru?"

"I come from Sunagakure, the village hidden in the sand." Hotaru said with no emotion in her normally cheerful voice.

"Where did you come from before sand? Who is your Otou-sama, Hotaru?" he asked, if his face was visible Hotaru knew that he would be smirking at her.

"You know where I came from, I do not." Hotaru said voice cracking as tears started to fall. "My Otou-sama is a snake."

"Now Hotaru, that's not very nice." another male voice came from behind her making the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end and her back go rigid revealing her wide eyes as her bangs fell away from her face.

"Glad to see that your wings actually work," The man said staying in the shadows circling her like a shark, "When I last saw you, you wouldn't pull them out even if we threw you down a flight of stairs. I thought you'd lost them."

"Otou-san." Hotaru breathed too terrified to move.

"Yes?" the man said appearing right behind her in a flash. Hotaru screamed and fell forward crawling backwards away from her father.

"No!" Hotaru screamed terrified as he came closer. She brought her knees up to her chest squinting her eyes shut as tears flowed down her cheeks.

"No!" she shrieked putting her hands up to shield her face as her wings came forward to shield her from harm.

Her father's face was obscured from her vision by shadows as she felt his hands on her wings parting them.

"NO!" Hotaru yelled as memories flooded back to her

–_FLASHBACK–_

_A six year old Hotaru sat huddled in the corner of a white room hugging her knees to her chest and burying her face in them crying, blood running from deep gashes on her arms, and legs. Blood and burn marks marred the white walls and burnt, bloody, dead bodies littered the room around her. Her light blue sun dress, like the walls and carpet, was covered in both her own blood and the other peoples blood and ashes that had once been some of the other people._

"_Why?!" she sobbed into her arms, "Why is it like this?! Why does every one that Tou-chan bring to play with me yell at me and call me a monster? I'm not a monster am I Kaa-chan?"_

"_**No," **__nibi purred comfortingly in Hotaru's head, __**"They are monsters, my sweet little girl." **_

"_Then why do they all try to kill me?" Hotaru asked sobbing into her knees._

"_Because you are a monster." her father hissed walking into the room and slamming the door._

"_Tou-chan?" Hotaru asked looking up into her fathers cold abrasive eyes, untold hurt and confusion held in her own soft brown eyes as more tears fell from them dripping down off of her chin to sting the cuts on her arms. She painfully stood and began to limp over to him as more blood trickled down from her wounds onto the already blood and ash stained white carpet. _

_The next thing she felt was her fathers hand come across her face in a brutal slap. He hit hard enough to knock her down onto the ground. Everything seemed to go in slow motion for Hotaru as she fell. She could see droplets of her own blood and tears falling through the air behind her and she could see her father smiling as she fell to the ground. The carpet stung and tore at her wounds that had started to heal thanks to the demon held inside of her, but her new found pain from her impact with the floor was nothing compared to the pain in her chest that sparked up as she saw the malice and disappointment in her father's eyes. _

_She crumpled up into a ball clutching her chest as she felt the burning and tearing feeling in her chest that she could only describe as her heart breaking. _

"_I never loved you, Hotaru," He spat as he kicked her in the stomach knocking the wind out of his six year daughter and sending her flying into the wall, "No one loves you, you are a monster."_

"_T-Tou-san!" she wheezed tears streaming down her face as she continued to clutch her chest._

" _I am not your father you pitiful little monster," he sneered looking down at Hotaru, "you are a tool that I forced the woman who gave birth to you to make. There never was any romantic love story that lead to you being born, just tragedy after tragedy." He said viciously ripping apart the tiny girl "The people that I brought to play with you so often were not playmates, they were assassins that I hired to try to gage how strong you were, if you died you died." Hotaru felt like she was dying inside as her heart was ripped out and torn to peices. "I am your master not your father you will obey me without question or I will give you away to another person who may not treat you as well as I have." _

"_I was– you – it was... all a lie?" Hotaru managed to say through her pained tears._

"_Everything that you knew was all a lie." He smirked "I do not love you at all, I do not care if you are happy, I would not care if you were dead." then he left, closing the door quietly behind himself. _

_Hotaru lay there crying for about ten more minutes as her wounds began healing slowly, all but her heart. She slowly got to her feet, her hair hiding her eyes and hands balled into tiny fists at her sides. She looked up to the wall next to the door where she knew a one way window was and looked sadly at it sensing where the person was. Then she allowed her hair to cover her face again and more tears fell from her eyes as she filled the room with fire and screamed out in anguish as she burned the Kanji for truth into her shoulder permanently scorching it into her skin._

–_END FLASH BACK–_

"Orochimaru," Leader-sama said in a commanding voice, "You are to leave now, your experiment is mine, you sold it and now it is mine."

"Oh is that how it is?" Orochimaru asked "Fine, good luck getting it to do anything for you. Good bye, shichi." (A/N Shichi means seven)

–_FLASH BACK–_

_Hotaru stood staring at the ground several feet behind Orochimaru who was looking down at a lab through a one way window where a young boy was screaming in pain as a number of men in white scrubs and hospital masks performed some kind of experiment on him. The boy screamed out in pain one more time arching his back before he went silent laying limp on the table he was bound to._

_Orochimaru sighed turning to look at his daughter, he looked at her shoulder where the black kanji for truth stood out against her pale skin._

"_How long has it been since you burned yourself girl?" He asked nonchalantly._

"_Three years in two months." She answered quietly._

_He simply ignored the fact that she answered and asked another question. "Would you like to make me happy and add some worth to your worthless life?"_

_She looked up at him hopefully "What is it? What can I do to make you happy?" the small girl asked willing to do anything to make the man who treated her so horribly happy, to feel some kind of worth. She had killed for him just for him to tell her good job and see him smile evilly as he patted her head, she'd do anything for him to see her as worth something. He was her father and she wanted to make him proud of her and tell her that she did good._

"_You see, I'm having a problem with my experiments, none of the subjects seem to be able to deal with the stress of the experiment," He began._

"_You mean the boy?" she asked peering down at his lifeless body as she walked towards the window._

"_There have been five others before him, he's the sixth," He explained placing a hand on her tiny shoulder from behind, "and you are a demon so you should be more stable than the other six. So will you help you dear Otou-san?" _

"_I'll help otou-san!" she said turning to face her father smiling brightly up at him. Then she realized what she'd said and covered her mouth with both hands eyes going wide as she shook her head._

"_I'm sorry." she said quietly barely removing her hands, "I didn't mean it, It was an accident!"_

"_You can call me that afterwards, ok." He said stooping down and picking her up. She was shocked, her father had barely even talked to her after he had shattered her heart, let alone carried her. "You're name will be shichi from now on, you will not be called Hotaru anymore."_

_Hotaru nodded and smiled, she didn't care if she had to change her name to a number, as long as she could be her fathers daughter again. _

"_Let's go get you changed, you've been wearing the same black dress for a month." he said as he carried her towards her old room that hadn't been used in years, she had been sleeping in a prison cell that was never locked but she didn't dare to leave it unless called for by her father._

_She nodded again smiling happily at her father and then hugged him. "Thank you." she said quietly _

"_No, thank you." he said as he smiled one of his evil smiles._

–_a few hours later–_

_Hotaru's screams echoed through the corridors of Orochimaru's hide out as the scientists preformed painful experiments on her while she was tied down to a table wearing a black hospital gown._

"_Tou-san!!" she screamed in an incredible amount of pain as tears clouded her vision, "Tou-san it hurts, I don't want to do it anymore, please!! Make them stop!!" she begged then screamed in pain again as they began cutting into her back._

"_Why?!" She cried out asking the men that were causing her pain "what are you doing?!" she sobbed "Why?" she asked quietly as she felt her blood begin to run down her sides._

_Fire had whipped across the room earlier but stopped after a few minutes as Nibi changed her focus to keeping her fragile little host alive. The doctors had been prepared for her attacks and had fireproofed the room and worn fireproof soots under their large scrubs._

_Hotaru's vision went fuzzy as they continued to operate on her sensitive back "why?" she asked one more time before she slipped into unconsciousness. _

_When she finally awoke she screamed feeling the burning pain in her back, she was lying on her stomach in her old room, not the prison cell but her actual room. Her back felt unusually heavy along with the unbearable searing pain. She reached up to her back slowly afraid to feel what they had done and touched something soft and warm._

'_Feathers?' she thought 'is there a bird sitting on me?'_

"_**No child," **__Nibi said sadly, __**" get up and look in the mirror, you should be able to walk, I can't do much about your back though."**_

_Hotaru nodded and stood up wincing as she felt something pulling on her back. She walked over to the mirror then screamed in horror at her reflection. She had huge, horrible, black wings._

_She screamed again falling on her wings painfully as she willed the reflection in the mirror to go away. Tears began streaming down her face and she rolled over onto her hands and knees, then threw up._

–_END FLASH BACK–_

Hotaru looked around half expecting her father to be smirking down at her.

"He's not here anymore," Leader-sama spoke up, "leave, have Deidra show you to your room and remove the chakra seal_,_ you won't get far if you try to escape."

Hotaru nodded and walked towards the door.

"Kid," Leader-sama called, "just in case wear this." he lazily tossed her something. Hotaru caught it in her fist and peered at it cautiously at first then opened her fist to reveal a silver charm bracelet with a single cat charm ant it. The cat looked as though it was sitting on a window sill watching birds flit by. Hotaru looked up at Leader-sama and bowed.

"Thank you leader-sama." she said respectfully then clasped undid the clasp on the chain and then redid it around her wrist.

She then pulled open the large stone door and walked through it for the second time that day and just as she expected it slammed shut behind her. It looked like it was just Deidra and Kisame still waiting for her. Kisame was leaning against the wall and deidra was sitting cross legged on a clay chair meditating, he opened one eye when he heard the door slam then opened the other one letting his chair shrink and catching it in his fist as he landed gracefully on his feet.

"How'd it go,un?" Deidra asked gently.

"You were screaming a lot in there kid, you ok?" Kisame asked showing a little concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I think." She responded a little bit unsure.

"What happened,un?" Deidra asked sauntering over to her.

"My-- ...Orochimaru." Hotaru answered looking down at the ground.

They were silent for a while not knowing what to say, they had known that he was viciously cruel and brutal to her but they hadn't been able to see her after the experiment. They had heard about what Orochimaru had done to her but they didn't believe it at first but when they came to see her the next time they were turned away and told that she didn't live there anymore. They hadn't dealt with it to well and killed about a fourth of the guards looking for the girl they had come to know as a sister. The only thing that had kept the group of murderous teenagers from wiping out the rest of the guards was a dark room with a one way window showing Hotaru with wings spread sitting in a room surrounded by various scorched dead bodies and crying and screaming as fire raged around the room. Needless to say this didn't make any of them happy and they would have laid siege on the whole building if Leader-sama hadn't ordered them to go back to the base telling them to forget about the girl, that what they were doing was showing weakness. The funny thing was that Itachi was the one to protest the most.

"Deidra-san,"Hotaru said quietly, breaking the two men out of their thoughts, "Leader-sama said I should tell you to remove the seal and show me my room."

"Oh, umm, yeah this way, un." Deidra said motioning for her to follow. She walked over to him without a word and stood by his side.

"I'll come with you." Kisame said walking on the other side of Hotaru.

The group walked down the hallways drawing attention to the new guest. The first occupied room that they passed by was Sasori's. Sasori poked his head out and mouthed "Hotaru?" to Deidra who nodded. Sasori was stunned for a moment but as the group continued to walk he felt compelled to follow, and since he really didn't have anything better to do he followed them.

The next open room they passed was Zetsu's who was conversing with himself over god knows what until he saw the growing group pass by. He looked at them questioningly as he saw the girl with them then followed curious as to what was going on.

"Deidra-san?" Hotaru asked quietly.

"Yeah, un?" Deidra asked in return.

"Who all is following us?" she asked not very concerned but still curious.

"There's me, Kisame-san, Sasori-dana, Zetsu-san, and I think Itachi-san is too, un." Deidra answered looking back to see who all was following.

"Hn." she responded causing Deidra to chuckle slightly.

They finally reached a closed door. "Here's your room, Hotaru-chan, un." Deidra said a bit uncomfortable.

"I'm pretty sure there's already stuff in there for you, kid." Kisame added trying to relieve some of the building tension. Silence. As they all stood there, most shifting uncomfortably every once in awhile, then a figure dressed in all black wearing a bright orange mask with a swirl decoration on it walked across the opening to the hallway, then walked backwards and stopped in the entrance way.

To him this was an extremely odd scene, Itachi was standing on one side of the hallway opening out of the view of the rest of the akatsuki members who were all gathered around a previously unused room with a thirteen year old girl with wings in the center of the half circle.

"What's up?" He asked walking up to the rest of the group. "Is there a reason that Itachi is hiding and your all gathered around an... angel? Did Sasori make a new weird puppet?"

"Show some respect, Tobi-san, and use your honorifics, un! And no he did not make a new puppet, un!" Deidra yelled at Tobi while strangling him.

"Deidra- san," Hotaru asked curiously still facing the door, "who's that."

Deidra released Tobi and turned to face Hotaru, "No one, un." Deidra said anger still barely audible in his voice.

"Tobi is a good boy." the man on the floor coughed the air returning to his lungs.

"No, Tobi-san is a bad boy, un." Deidra said putting his hands on his hips.

"Then Deidra-chan is a girl." Tobi said sounding like he would be smiling.

"Tobi!!" Deidra yelled lunging at the masked man.

"Screeeeeeeeeeeeeee." Tobi screeched scaring Hotaru with the loud high pitch noise and she turned to see what had emitted the horrid noise.

"What was that Tobi?!" Deidra yelled rubbing his ears.

"Deidra-chan should use her honorifics." Tobi said crossing his arms.

"Tobi, I'm gonna kill you!" Deidra said lunging at Tobi again but stopping halfway when he heard Hotaru laughing behind him. Everyone turned their attention to the now laughing Hotaru who just minutes ago had been extremely morbid.

"Dei-Deidra-nee-chan," she managed between laughs, "is a girl."

"Hotaru-chan," Deidra whined at her, "don't encourage him, un!"

"Nee-chan? Deidra-chan has a sister?" Tobi asked popping up behind Hotaru who jumped a bit but sensed no hostility or killer intent so let him be.

Sasori and Zetsu had disappeared a while ago and Kisame was leaning against the wall debating on weather or not he should follow suit.

"No, Tobi, Deidra-san has an old friend that's like– wait a minute." Deidra stopped mid-sentence and stared at her for a minute, "You just called me nee-chan didn't you?" He asked accusingly.

"Sorry." Hotaru mumbled no longer laughing, she felt like she'd done something wrong by calling him nee-chan again. She felt like she was betraying Gaara by being so friendly with her kidnapers and let a tear slide down her cheek. She felt a black gloved finger swipe across her cheek wiping away the tear.

Kisame decided it was time to go and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Deidra-chan look," Tobi said shoving his black gloved finger Deidra's face, "Deidra-chan did it, Deidra-chan made Hotaru-chan cry." Tobi scolded.

"What, un?!" Deidra pushed Tobi out of the way who just stood for a moment then turned and left. Deidra knelt in front of Hotaru. "Hotaru-chan, I'm sorry, I'm not mad you, you can call me whatever you want, un! Just don't cry, un!" Deidra knew he sounded weak but he didn't care, he felt like he was some how tied to the small girl.

"Deidra-nee-chan," Hotaru looked up at him revealing more tears streaming down her face "I miss him!" she cried throwing herself at him and crying into her brother figures chest. Deidra was temporarily stunned and didn't know what to say so he just returned her embrace.

"Why?" Hotaru cried "It hurts, why does it have to be so confusing nee-chan?" she asked desperate for an answer.

"What's so confusing, un?" Deidra asked trying to somehow comfort his adoptive sister.

"I-I feel like I'm betraying Gaara-kun if I enjoy my time here and treat you guys like my brothers again but then I feel like I'm betraying you guys if I distance myself from you all and– and– and I missed you all when you stopped being able to visit, and now I miss Gaara-kun and it's so confusing and my– my heart hurts!" She choked out through tears.

Deidra was unsure on what to do or say in response then he found the perfect answer, "I'm sure that Gaara-san wants you to be happy no matter what and I know that no one here, not even Itachi likes to see you upset like this, un." Deidra said into his little sisters hair.

"Y-you're right nee-chan," Hotaru said wiping her tears off on her arm as she released Deidra, "I'll keep smiling for Gaara-kun and everyone." she smiled, and it seemed to illuminate the whole hall.

Itachi was still out of sight but he was still there still listening, Sasori had seen him on his way back to his room and just raised an eyebrow at him then went on his way, Tobi had seen him too and was now leaning on the wall next to him mimicking the younger man.

"What do you want Madara-san?" Itachi asked annoyed with the childish older man.

"Tobi." Tobi corrected him.

"Right, the mask, your Tobi." Itachi snapped.

"Tobi wants to know what Itachi-kun is doing." Tobi answered grinning with his voice.

"I'm listening while not having to engage in conversation." Itachi said as if it should have been obvious.

"Tobi thinks that Itachi-kun might be spying, maybe Itachi-kun has a crush on Hotaru-chan." Tobi shrugged then stood up straight and began to walk the opposite way from where Hotaru and Deidra were.

"Maybe Itachi is a pedophile, or has a lolita complex." Tobi called over his shoulder

–Deidra and Hotaru–

There was a small period where they were both quiet then they heard Tobi yell something.

""Maybe Itachi is a pedophile, or has a lolita complex." they heard than a dull thud followed by a louder thud.

They looked at each other then went to investigate. They burst out laughing when they saw what was going on, Tobi was lying sprawled out on the floor one hand rubbing the back of his head, a shoe lying a few feet away from him, and the culprit? Itachi stood towering over Tobi glaring down at him, one bare foot showing brightly against the cave floor as he bent down to pick up his shoe.

Itachi looked up at the laughing pair after putting his shoe back on and glared, instantly silencing one but the shorter of the two didn't seem to notice or care. Itachi glared one last time at Tobi before walking off past Hotaru and Deidra and slamming his door which, ironically enough was right across from Hotaru's.

"You should go to your room too, un" Deidra instructed not wanting her to get in trouble with Leader-sama.

"Ok, good day, nee-chan." Hotaru said smiling at him then ran off to her room.

Once she shut the door she sighed heavily leaning against the door then sank to the ground and cried. "Gaara-kun, I miss you so much already." she whispered "I feel like my heart is being ripped up but I'm still glad to see my old brothers. It hurts so much Gaara-kun, please don't hate me, I feel like I betrayed you."

Itachi was in the hall and heard her whispering to herself. "Forget about him already, Hotaru-chan, it's hopeless." he whispered inaudibly then walked silently down the hallway.

"No it's not Itachi-Onii-san," Hotaru had heard him because with Nibi being inside of her she generally heard anything around her making her an even better ninja, "G-Gaara-kun and me, w-we'll find a w-way, we'll be t-together again s-somehow, I have f-faith in him." she choked out quietly through tears.

–With Gaara–

Gaara regained consciousness on the desert floor, only to find that he was still regaining his chakra, Kisame's sword had managed to suck chakra out of him even without him touching it making him run out of chakra faster than he should have and he hadn't noticed it until shukaku had told him in his sleep.

"Hotaru." he wheezed dehydrated.

"Gaara!?" he heard a woman yell frantically.

"Gaara?!" this time it was a male voice.

"Who is it?" Gaara growled.

"**It's your siblings, It seems as though they came to save their monster brother."** Shukaku taunted no longer feeling sympathy for his host.

'Shut up raccoon.' Gaara ordered in his head.

"Gaara!!" Temari yelled coming into sight, "Oh my Gods, Kankuro-kun over here I found him."

"Be there in a flash Temari-nee-san!" Kankuro yelled letting his sister know that he'd heard her.

"Gaara, can you walk?" Temari asked kneeling at his side.

"No I'm just lying here for fun. What do you think, Temari baka?!" Gaara ground out angrily.

"Hey, where's Hotaru?" Temari asked looking around expecting to see the younger girl some where nearby and when she didn't see her she panicked, "Hotaru?!" she yelled standing up.

"Damnit Temari shut up!!" Gaara roared hoarsely from the desert floor, "She's not her so shut up!! Just shut up!!"

Temari tensed flinched back from her little brother before she went almost completely limp from shock as her shoulders slumped in disbelief. Gaara was crying again, Temari thought it had looked like he had been crying when she got there but she just brushed it off as symptoms of Gaara's severe Dehydration, her little brother hadn't cried in years.

"Oh my Gods are you crying?" Gaara gave her death glare through tears and Temari thanked her lucky stars that he didn't even have enough chakra to stand. "Who was it Gaara? Was it those guys that were at your house? We have to tell Otou-s– I mean Kazekage-sama!" Temari fired off her questions one after another. She had learned a long time ago that using Otou-sama when addressing their father in front Gaara would result in being pinned to a wall by sand by the throat and choked into unconsciousness.

"Keh, don't bother telling that bastard," Gaara scoffed angrily, "He didn't help earlier, what makes you think he'll even care now!?" He yelled only coming out as a scratchy whisper now.

"Why?!" He screamed tears no longer falling because he didn't have the water to spare, "Why take her, she's mine, they can't take her!!"

Kankuro now appeared on the scene carrying a canteen full of water. It was a pitiful sight, Sabaku No Gaara lying broken on the desert floor dehydrated and beaten up, skin cracked in various spots, a sad expression on his normally stoic face which was now marred with fallen and dried up tears. He had bruises and cuts from the sandy desert to accompany the cracks in his skin, along with wicked sun burn on his normally pale skin.

"C'mon, Temari, help me get him to drink this." Kankuro said squatting down next to his older sister and opening the canteen. Gaara had exhausted himself again and was near fainting when Temari lifted his head to drink and had started to hallucinate. Kankuro lifted the canteen up to his younger brothers parched lips and poured a small stream of the cool liquid through his parched lips. Gaara coughed and sputtered at first but soon enough he was drinking, limp in his sisters arms. They gave him about half the canteen then Kankuro capped it and attached it to the bandages that were looped around his shoulders to keep Crow on his back.

"Let's get him back to Suna." Kankuro said looping one of Gaara's arms around his shoulders to support him.

Temari nodded and mirrored Kankuro's actions and then they both stood up at the same time, each supporting fifty percent of there little brothers weight, he was surprisingly light without his gourd that still lie forgotten in his haste to try to save Hotaru.

"Why?" he asked them one last time before he faded back into the bliss of darkness. He didn't understand why, after how cold and cruel he was to them, they had come to get him. He decided that they were fools and as he was forced to sleep by his body's exhaustion he dreamt about what Yashamaru had told him on the night he betrayed Gaara, He was a monster loving no one and only loving himself, yes, that was what he would do. He would finish what he started before Hotaru, He was now forever changed and was colder and crueler than ever.

Shukaku then went through all of the things that Gaara had loved and had hurt him, Yashamaru, Hotaru, everyone he had ever met had only hurt him, causing him unbearable pain. He would never be hurt again, he would never "love" anything again, He was Gaara, Sabaku No Gaara the demon of sand, uncaring and unfeeling.

--Small-Time-Skip--

Gaara woke up in the hospital a week later feeling better physically and not feeling mentally but then something hit him. He had his new old resolution, but it still hurt, it wouldn't stop, this horrible pain was the one thing he couldn't stop, he wanted to scream but he couldn't, he wanted to cry but he wouldn't, He wanted to forget everything but he shouldn't, couldn't, and would never. So he roared. He roared in pain, guilt, anger, frustration, sadness, mourning, confusion all mixing and mingling together. The sound was not human, it was a sound that many of the villagers had heard in the night many years ago and had haunted them every night since. The last time they heard that sound many people on the worst side of town started to disappear and horribly gruesome and bloody scenes were needed to be cleaned up almost every morning, now completely innocent villagers would start disappearing without a trace, lost to the demon of the sand forever.

**So what did you guys think? Please review, I'm starting to get lonely and a little discouraged. I'm going to keep writing this even if you don't, so at least tell me if you thought it sucked. C'mon people, please? **


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Naruto, I don't own it

Disclaimer: Naruto, I don't own it, Kishimoto-sama does. I don't own Until the End by Breaking Benjamin or Superstar by Toybox.

A/N from Misukai-chan

Sorry, both of the computers we have, the one I use to type and the one with internet, were both in the shop so I couldn't do anything for a while and now they both have internet so I can't get more than twenty minutes of typing done on them before getting kicked off, buuut I managed to get around that. One of my sisters graduated highschool and got a laptop recently so I got her old hand me down laptop that has basically solitaire, paint, powerpoint, and Microsoft word, which I didn't have before (I had word perfect) so I can type for a long time and there are no interruptions. Thank you to the people who told me about my mistakes, I will go back later and fix the spelling of _Deidara's_ name and that it's danna not dono. I'm so clueless lol.

--

Hotaru awoke the next morning and stretched looking around and expecting to see her familiar surroundings. When she opened her eyes and saw dark grey stone walls she leapt out of bed screaming.

"Where the hell am I?!" she screamed reaching for a kunai only to find that they weren't there.

"Damn it, Hotaru!" Itachi yelled slamming her door open causing Hotaru to jump then slide into a defensive position, "You're in a cave, the Akatsuki base and it's five in the fucking morning!"

"Oh yeah…" she said dropping her stance

"What's goin' on, un." Deidara asked sleepily walking into Hotaru's room.

"Umm, nothing Deidara-nee-chan, I just kinda forgot where I was for a minute." Hotaru said and smiled sheepishly at him.

"'kay, un." Deidara said sleepily then walked back to his room.

"Go back to bed." Itachi said gruffly then walked out of the room closing the door silently behind himself.

Hotaru climbed back into her bed and stared at the ceiling, she couldn't get back to sleep. Living with Gaara, she had acquired some of his bad sleeping habits and so this was the time that she'd normally get up. She sat up and looked around taking in her surroundings. Earlier she hadn't really looked around, she had been to depressed and had crawled into bed and cried herself to sleep last night so there hadn't been much time to take in her surroundings.

There was a dark wood dresser with a small metallic-black boom box on it and some clothes were messily thrown in, sticking out of the closed drawers. She turned her head to what was across from the door, there was a box taped shut and sloppily labeled "Girl Stuff" in black marker along with a smaller box labeled "stuff." Then a few feet away from the head of her bed was what looked like a desk with a large mirror on it, there was a black brush, comb, and straitener (sp?) amongst other hair things on it. Her bed was a simple four post bed with black sheets on it, it was in the corner, close to the door which opened away from her bed. The walls floor and ceiling were carved out of the stone, probably using a jutsu.

Hotaru got out of bed and trotted over to the two boxes, her curiosity getting the best of her. She picked up the smaller of the two marked girl stuff and tore the tape off. Inside there were some packages of pads and a box of tampons (hey she's gotta use 'em some time, she is a girl after all.). She blushed then closed the box and set it back down. Then she turned to the other box marked stuff, it was an older box that was worn and the letters of "stuff" were slightly faded. She tore the tape off and opened it up, inside there was a bunch of pictures of her and the guys from when she was little there was also an old stuffed cat made with black fabric and button eyes topped off with a red ribbon tied around it's neck in a bow.

"Neko-chan!!" she whispered excitedly picking up the stuffed cat and hugging it.

"Last time I saw Neko-chan you were…" she stopped for a moment to think, "I let you stay the night with Itachi-Onii-sama, then I never got to see them again!"

"Oh! I missed you so much!! But I completely forgot about you!" she cooed then pulled it out an arms length away, "Forgive me Neko-chan!!" she then pulled the little cat close again.

"The pictures!!" she exclaimed quietly and placing Neko-chan beside her gently.

She picked them up out of the box, the first one was a picture of her and Zetsu, she was dressed in a light blue floral printed sundress with her long-ish hair pulled into pigtails with matching light blue ribbons and holding his white hand and pulling him towards a fake potted plant and pointing at it while he visually sweat dropped. She could see Sasori in the background pointing and laughing at him. She remembered that day, they had come over to play/train with her a little bit even though they were older than her they still could train with her effectively because of her demon, which they full well knew about. She had asked Zetsu what the green thing was that was always around his head and he had glared at her and told her it was a plant and it was a part of him. She had then proceeded to drag him over to the plastic potted tree in her room and point at it saying "plant." Then point at him and say "Plant-Man, Zetsu-nii."

The next picture was of her in a plain white dress with her hair pulled into a low ponytail with a white ribbon and Tobi wearing his normal Akatsuki outfit. Hotaru had a large multicolor lollipop and was holding it up to compare it to Tobi's mask a thoughtful expression on her six year old face. Tobi was watching her curiously not really sure as to

why she was holding the candy up as close to his face as she could. She remembered this moment too, it was the first picture that had been taken by Leader-sama, the rest were taken by either Tobi, Madara, or another member. Hotaru had found out, due to a mishap involving her Tobi her messy room and Tobi's mask being jerked off by a bedpost, that Tobi and Madara were the same person but at the same time they weren't. Soon after she had decided that she liked Tobi better than Madara.

The next picture was of Kisame and herself. She was wearing the same kind of outfit as in the first picture but this time it was purple and she was holding Neko-chan. She knew that in both pictures she'd been seven because of the dresses, later on she'd change her style again but for age seven it was all flowers, bows, and pigtails. Hotaru was pointing at Kisame mouth open talking and Kisame was anime fainted on the ground twitching. Hotaru couldn't help but laugh as she remembered the day, She had been told that they had another member and that he was kind of like Zetsu but different, definitely different than Zetsu. The blue skinned teen had walked through the door looking as though he had better things to do and would rather be elsewhere, this annoyed Hotaru so she got back at him by pointing at him and declaring a single word, "Fishy." Sasori, Tobi, and Zetsu had burst out laughing while Kisame glared at them then turned back to the seven year old ready to let her have it but was surprised to see her holding out her stuffed cat to him and looking remorseful. "I-I'm sorry," She had apologized, "You can take Neko-chan home with you for a while if you want to." The rest of the people there had all gotten quiet looking to see what the newcomer would do, the rest of them all knew that Neko-chan was very important to Hotaru. Kisame could tell from the look in her eyes and the way that she was gripping the cat tightly that it meant a lot to her so he just ruffled her hair, "Forget about it, kid, I get that all the time."

The next picture was of her and Sasori. She was wearing a white dress with purple accents and her hair tied into a low ponytail by a purple ribbon. She was six in the picture because her father was still dressing her, she winced as she thought of her Father but quickly shook away the thoughts of her father and continued to look at the picture. Sasori was using a porcelain doll as a puppet and Hotaru was staring at it intently as he told her stories from when he was a kid. In the end He'd smashed the doll, Hotaru's eyes filled with tears as she hugged him and told him that she could fix it, all she needed was some glue. They had come back the next day to find that Hotaru had glued the doll back together and when Sasori came in she'd given it to him and told him: "See, I fixed it!" He'd just smiled at her and accepted the doll.

The next picture was of her blowing out eight candles on a birthday cake in a frilly pink and white dress with frilly white sox and white shoes along with pink ribbons tying up her two pigtails. Sasori, Zetsu, Tobi, Kisame, and Orochimaru were all gathered around the table cheering while leader-sama was barely visible in the shadows in he background.

The next picture was from just a few days after her party, It was of Hotaru and Itachi. Hotaru was wearing a black Lolita style dress with white lace everywhere, she'd gotten it for her birthday, wearing her hair down and a yinyang symbol hung from her neck. Itachi was wearing the Akatsuki cloak and sulking in a corner of the room with a sleeping Hotaru leaning on his shoulder. Hotaru remembered that day too, Itachi had been there the whole day and was just sulking in the corner and Hotaru thought he might be feeling sad or maybe missed his family so she'd gone over to sit with him and fallen asleep.

_Flash Back_

_Hotaru sat down next to a very upset looking teenage Itachi, mimicking his sitting position and facial expression._

"_Go away." He said emotionlessly._

_Hotaru just smiled at him "I'm Hotaru, who are you?"_

"_I am Uchiha Itachi, I killed my entire clan, I tortured my eight and a half year old brother and left." He said glaring at the little girl._

"_I turned eight four days ago, Nibi says I'm getting too old and that she doesn't like Tou-chan." Hotaru said smiling, "Oh yeah, Nibi is the demon that's sealed in me, she likes to kill people and she's really old and mean but she's nice to me, at first she was really mean but now she lets me call her Okaa-chan and she thinks that you are a bad person but I don't, you didn't kill your little brother so you aren't all bad, maybe a lot bad but you're not all bad." _

"_You are very… strange." Itachi said looking over at her, "Why do you call everyone here your brothers?" He asked stoically._

"_Because they're all very special to me and they're the closest things to brothers that I ever had and I love them all." She answered honestly._

"_hn." He said facing forward again. _

"_Is it ok if I call you my brother too, Itachi-sama?" She asked._

_He looked at her for a while trying to figure out just what her intentions were but couldn't find any thing wrong with her asking it so he answered her. "Do what you want, I do not care." He responded looking forward again._

"_Ok Itachi-Onii-sama." Hotaru said cheerily then faced forward like Itachi. After a few minutes she fell asleep and wound up leaning on Itachi's shoulder._

_Itachi looked down at the sleeping little girl when she fell over onto his shoulder but decided to let her be then looked back in front of him only to see Tobi holding a camera then was blinded by a flash._

"_Madara." Itachi hissed angrily._

"_Tobi." He corrected as sternly as Tobi goes._

"_Tobi," Itachi hissed, "what the hell was that?!"_

"_A camera!" Tobi stated giddily and ran._

"_Shit." Itachi groaned leaning his head back against the wall._

"_Shit is a bad word, Itachi-san" Kisame said leaning against a nearby wall, Itachi just glared at him._

"_Relax Itachi-san, we've all got a soft spot for the kid," Kisame said grinning wickedly, "there was something about a blood line trait that her mom had, that makes you want to befriend her and not want to hurt her making it harder for an attacker to kill her. Leader-sama plans to have her join us because of her untrained power but Orochimaru-san doesn't wanna give her up so easily, something about an experiment. Leader-sama wants her to get attached to us so she'll come with him more willingly." _

"_How do you know all of this?" Itachi asked without emotion._

"_I'm a ninja, the walls have ears and the ceilings have eyes." Kisame said coolly _

"_Let me guess you went to do something and happened upon and open door." Itachi asked glaring at Kisame._

"_Basically." Kisame said still grinning._

"_It sounded like a badly rehearsed speech, or a slackers academy report." Itachi pointed out bluntly._

"_I try." Kisame responded shoving his hands in his pockets._

"_this blood line trait, can it make someone fall in love?" Itachi asked his curiosity getting the best of him._

"_Only for twenty four hours and she has to do an ass load of hand signs and she doesn't even know about the blood line trait so…" Kisame answered picking little Hotaru and carrying her to her bed, "Why so interested, Itachi-san?" _

_End Flash Back_

Hotaru smiled gently at the picture, She didn't know what had happened after she fell asleep but she remembered waking up when Kisame put her on the bed and then apologizing for falling asleep then telling everyone good night individually. Suddenly she felt so sad, She'd seen them one last time on the last mission she'd done for Orochimaru and she hadn't been nice.

_Flash Back_

_Nine year old Hotaru stood over the de__ad bloody dead body of a man with her wings resting behind her lazily, He had seen inside of her father's lab and seen the experiments being preformed on her. He had planned on telling a nearby villages kage about the base and what was going on inside but Orochimaru would put a stop to it. He sent Hotaru after him because that would send him the best message in the eyes of Orochimaru, the person that he aimed to save coming and killing him, it would destroy him before she did. She'd finally cornered him in a clearing in the forest, he'd thought she'd escaped and was running away but when he went up to her he'd found out what her true intentions were when a kunai slashed him across the face. _

_Hotaru's blood lust had gotten the better of her this time, She had cut the man so many times that he'd died of blood loss quicker than she had wanted him to. Hotaru's simple dark blue sundress was now stained a dark purple and her hair and skin were tainted red with the man's blood, but he was definitely worse off. His arms and legs were all broken and he had so many cuts on his face that he was no longer identifiable, there were deep gashes on his arms and upper torso and one of the bones from his legs was sticking out of his shin . She sensed more people coming and growled raising her kunai into an offensive position, retracting her wings. _

_She heard a twig snap from behind a nearby treeline and few seconds later the Akatsuki calmly walked into the clearing._

"_Hotaru-chan!" Tobi and Deidara yelled from the back of the group._

"_Hey Kid." Kisame said grinning and shoving his sword in the ground and leaning on it._

_Sasori smiled up at her from his puppet body that looked just like he had before__ he was a puppet, at first she was glad to see them but knew that she'd only bring them more pain and sadness._

"_Stay away or I won't hesitate__ to kill you!" she called out in warning as she shifted to fully face them._

"_You wouldn't kill your Onii-sama would you?" she heard a familiar voice from behind her._

"_Itachi-O—" she went silent for a moment then started again, "Itachi-sama."_

"_What's the matter Hotaru-chan, won't you tell us? Won't you tell your brothers?" Zetsu asked eerily appearing to grow from the shadows on the ground beside the group._

"_Hotaru, when did you get so violent?" Itachi asked emotionlessly staring at the lifeless body at her feet, his sharingan activated already, anticipating anything. _

"_Otou-sama told me to and if you must know, I'm having a bit of a vicious bloodlust right now." She said smiling maliciously. _

_Suddenly Itachi was in front of her bending down to look her in the eye and gripping her shoulders, "What did he do to you!?" He demanded quietly, concern showing on his face though his voice didn't change he deactivated the sharigan, searching her eyes for an answer._

_Her bangs fell over her eyes and tears started to run down her face mixing with the blood. _

"…_hate… Itachi-sama…" She murmured._

"_What?" he asked straining his ears to hear her._

"_Itachi you're not using that eye on the kid, are you?" Kisame asked knowing what Itachi was capable of._

_Hotaru looked up clearing her bangs from her eyes, tears streaming down her face, "I hate you Itachi-sama!!" She screamed flames erupting all around her forcing Itachi to jump back. _

"_No Kisame-san__." Itachi glared at Kisame, red sharingan eyes showing brightly, then turned back to Hotaru._

"_Leave me alone, I hate you!! I hate you all!!" Hotaru yelled the green in her eyes spiking out mimicking the fire crackling in the air and fat droplets of water cascading down her face, evaporating before they hit the ground. _

"_Go away!! I never want to see you again!! I hate you all!! I-I hate you Itachi-sama!!" she yelled making her voice go hoarse as she yelled the last hate._

"_If you can't kill me, settle for hating me too!" She wailed repeating Itachi's words to his little brother, Sasuke. _

_Itachi straightened his back and went back to being emotionless. "I will not kill you, I do not feel like wasting my time." Itachi made eye contact with her once more before turning and walking away, he would never forget the look in her eyes, it had hurt her to say it almost as much as it hurt him, this was why he hadn't gotten close to anyone, this was why he'd wanted his brother to hate him, people that get close to you hurt you the most._

_Her eyes had haunted his dreams every night since, sometimes she'd be chained beaten and broken in her father's clutches, others she'd be a carefree little girl living a normal life, or somewhere in between, any way she appeared she always had the same look in her eyes, they were filled with hurt, pain, sadness, anger, blood lust, restraint, inner conflict, and drained of all happiness. _

"_Itachi we can't just leave the kid," Kisame started then choked on his words as Itachi's glare._

"_Leave her, she is of no importance." Itachi commanded and since none of them had a death wish they simply walked away Deidara looking back sadly at her crying form and watched as she opened her wings to fly she tilted her head up towards the sky and beat her wings hard once making fire bursting out from her in a shockwave as she took off, burning all the blood stained flowers and grass in the clearing and leaving the corpse singed. _

_Hotaru flew through a few hands signs then reached her hand up to the sky, "Water style: Rain of Tears." She whispered as drops of salt water began to fall from the sky. She was finishing her mission, she was punishing the village for sending a spy by making it rain saltwater. Crops and livestock would be affected by it, not to mention that anyone with a cut outside was probably in a lot of pain right now. It would rain saltwater for a week straight unless she stopped the jutsu._

"_I'm sorry Deidara-nee-chan, Tobi-nii, Zetsu-nii, Sasori-nii-sama, Kisame-nii-san, Itachi-Onii-sama." She whispered as she watched them walk for a moment then turned and flew back to the hell she called home._

_End Flash Back_

She shook her head and put the pictures back and started to sing as she looked around her room. She sighed then took her MP3 player out of her pocket and put the ear phones in and started to sing along with the first song.

(Here's the song Until the End by Breaking and I would like to point out again that I don't own it)

"So clever, what ever, I'm done with these endeavors," she sang in time with the song

"alone I walk the winding way, here I stay. It's over, no longer, I feel it growing stronger." Then a thought hit her, she hadn't had a mission in a while and she'd been having violent urges recently, She'd need to kill soon or Nibi would go crazy with bloodlust and over power her.

"I live to die another day, until I fade away! Why give up? Why give in?" Why should she give up now?

"It's not enough, it never is, so I will go on until the end," Nothing she'd ever done had been enough to prove anything to the villagers about herself and the villagers.

"We've become desolate, it's not enough, it never is." She and Gaara had become all alone when they were separated from each other and everything they'd done to try to get back to each other had failed.

"but I will go on until the end!" She would go on until the end, she'd wait for Gaara forever, even if he didn't come for her she'd go on for him.

"surround me, it's easy, to fall apart completely," It was so easy for her own loneliness to surround her and make her fall apart.

"I feel you creeping up again, in my head," she could feel the blood lusting beast of the Nibi coming out again.

"It's over, no longer, I feel it growing colder." It was over, her time with Gaara had come to an end and she would no longer see him, she could feel her heart slowly growing colder, and knew she had to stop it.

"I knew this day would come to end," she knew that staying with Gaara forever was too good to last.

"so let this life begin," so let her knew life as the little sister of the Akatsuki members begin.

"Why give up? Why give in? It's not enough it never is." Why should she give up being a ninja? It wouldn't be enough to make them let her go back.

"So I will go on until the end," she'd fight until the end, she'd use this as an opportunity to get stronger and train.

"We've become desolate, it's not enough, it never is, but I will go on until the end."

"I've lost my way, I've lost my way, but I will go on until the end." Hotaru was lost somewhere between love and hatred.

"living is, hard enough, without you fucking deep breath in up!" she managed to keep her voice fairly quiet, enough so that it didn't wake anybody but still went with the song. She was the one, in her mind, that kept on fucking up and making her friends lives harder than they already were.

"ahhhhh, why give up why give in? It's not enough it never is so I will go on until the end"

"We've become desolate, it's not enough it never is, well I will go on until the end."

"I've lost my way, I've lost my way but I will go on until the end. Ooo oooo ooo(x2)"

"The final fight begin, the final fight I win, well I will go on until the end." She listened to the music as it faded and the next song started to play. Hotaru giggled as she heard the opening.

"I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car I am a super star and I don't care who you are." She sang. She swore that she heard someone chuckle from outside the door and assumed it was Deidara or Kisame so she ran over to it and flung it open. She was momentarily shocked to see Itachi standing outside her door but was too excited about her new decisions to really care and dragged him into her room closing the door behind him.

"don't be strange, come in instead of standing outside my door." She smiled cheerfully at the Uchiha.

"I'm not being strange." Itachi stated standing next to her door in the shadows, there was a lamp in a corner on the other side of the room that was switched on but didn't reach him.

"Look at you Itachi-Onii-sama, being all "oh-my-god-the-light-it-burns" over there." Hotaru teased playfully.

"You do realize that Leader-sama knows all and sees all that happens here." Itachi said stoically.

"He better not be "seeing all" when I'm changing." Hotaru said crossing her arms and huffing "peeping tom."

"…" (-- Itachi)

"I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car, I am a superstar and I don't care who you are," Hotaru burst out singing along with her MP3 player and jumping around the room, "I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car, I am a superstar and I don't care who you are"

"…" (Itachi)

"I've got a red farari, I'm a superstar," she lowered her voice and grabbed a brush and started singing into it, "I really like to party, am I cool or what?"

"… chuckle"

"Oh my God did you just laugh at me Itachi-Onii-sama!?" Hotaru asked dropping her brush and getting really close to him, standing on her tippy toes to get a better view of his face.

Itachi pushed her down by kneeing her in the stomach hard enough to make her earphones fall out and her MP3 player skitter across the floor, "I am not your brother." He ground out towering over her fallen figure.

Hotaru looked up at him from the floor tears welling up in her eyes, "Itachi-O… Itachi-sama…"she said quietly, "I-I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean it," She whispered as a few tears slipped down her face, "I was j-just… I didn't want you to… I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." She almost yelled as she finished but managed not to.

Itachi knew what she was talking about, her voice had held such malice that day, she'd hated him for leaving her, for letting it happen to her, for not being there to stop them, that much was what he'd gathered in the long years since she'd told him she hated him.

"I-I don't hate you, Itachi-sama, please forgive me, please!" she begged as she staggered to her feet, everything was taking more of a toll on her because no one had remembered to remove the chakra seal.

Itachi moved closer and did a few hand signs then caught her in one arm as she started to collapse and put a hand gently on her stomach, breaking the seal on contact. "You are forgiven, Hotaru," Itachi said in a barely audible monotone, "but I am not your brother."

"I understand." Hotaru said smiling weakly as she regained her strength, "Can I see Leader-sama again, I'd like to reconsider." She said as Itachi helped her to her feet.

Itachi gave her a look and began to walk out of her room, Hotaru took the look as a "follow me" kind of thing and followed after him.

They walked down the various hallways, making turns at all the right corners and walking past all of her brothers rooms until they reached the large stone door. It opened as they approached and Hotaru followed Itachi inside.

"Leader-sama." Itachi said bowing slightly.

"Itachi, Hotaru." Leader-sama said from his position in the shadows.

"I want to reconsider what I said earlier. I will go on missions but I will not go on missions that involve the sand, I want nothing to do with harming the sand, and… I want to compete in the chunin exams." The last thing was said as more of a question than a demand.

"Why do you want to compete in the chunin exams?" Leader-sama inquired.

"I've been training this whole time so I could become a chunin, I one day hope become Jonin ranked and the next step to that is to become a chunin." She told him honestly while nervously toying with the ripped edges of her shirt.

"That will be complicated," Leader-sama sighed, "but I don't see why not, will your "master" be there?"

"Y-Yes I think so." She responded staring at the floor.

"No." Leader-sama said simply never shifting from his position.

"I swear, Gaara-kun won't save me and if he tries I'll stop him!" She begged him shaking her head, "All I want is to become a better ninja, and I don't want him to save me!! If he tries I know that he'll be killed!! I won't let him die!!" she cried.

"…not for me." She added quietly.

"I thought your masters name was death, little one." Leader-sama smirked thinking that he had caught her bluff.

"Gaara-kun is death, other people make life and he takes it away." Hotaru said staring at the ground and pulling on one of the many threads hanging from her shirt.

"I thought he was the master, not you, does the pet tell it's mater what he will not do?" Leader-sama asked mocking her and Gaara.

"I get in the way of him killing innocent so he doesn't kill them," she explained fondly as she thought back to when she was always with Gaara, it felt like it had been so long, "after all my master was fond of me and what kind of a good master would kill his pet?"

Leader-sama understood what she was trying to tell him, If Gaara tried to take her back and kill her guards she would get in the way and stop him, but the only reason she'd stop him was to keep her guards from hurting him

"Very well, I will send Itachi and Kisame as your team mates and Deidara as your sensei, now leave my sight this will be discussed later." He commanded.

"Arigato Leader-sama." She said bowing respectfully and grinning from ear to ear then ran off to tell Deidara.

Itachi was about to disappear in a puff of smoke when Leader-sama spoke up again,

"Nice work Itachi." He said his eyes smiling evilly at Itachi's back.

"I have done nothing." Itachi said then disappeared.

**Sorry for not updating in so long as I said earlier my computers were down for a while and we only have one of them back so far, the computer guy's on vacation in Mexico… I know it's not good when the guy who has your computer "Flees the country" but umm I think my parents trust him… anyway please review!! (the little fact thingy's have been discontinued and will be removed soon for reasons that I do not feel obligated to explain.)**

It is currently 3:00 AM on June 28, 2008


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto-sama owns Naruto!! I don't own it!!

It is currently 3:02 AM on June 28, 2008.

Yeah I just started putting dates and times for when I start a chapter and finish it recently, I have a thing about time… I'm constantly looking at the clock but I hate time, I hate it with a passion yet I can't stand not knowing the time, it drives me crazy!! Not that I'm not already crazy as it is, lol. Onto the chapter!!

… Ok now it's 6:44 on October 17, 2008 and I feel really bad for not updating, sorry. I just moved to out of Toledo Ohio (against my will!!) to New York, not New York New York though… I'm a freaking Quaker now, our mascot is the freaking oatmeal dude!! (gotta keep that T rating =3) Not cool. I hate this move but I did meet some cool people but my old friends pwn. I lubs them. DX I misses joo!!

"Nee-chan!! Nee-chan!!" Hotaru yelled excitedly as she jumped on Deidara's bed to wake him up.

"I wish you wouldn't call me that, un." Deidara said as he rubbed his eyes, he'd been awake since she'd entered his room but he thought she might let him sleep. He had been very wrong, she'd immediately climbed onto his bed and started jumping on it to wake him up then after five minutes she'd started to yell Nee-chan over and over while he tried to sleep through it.

"Hotaru-chan, you don't act like you're thirteen, you act like you're five, un." Deidara teased sitting upright. Hotaru plopped down on the edge of his bed and stuck her tongue out at him.

"I'm thirteen and a half thank you very much." Hotaru said crossing her arms. Deidara chuckled, she hadn't changed much.

"Guess what Nee-chan?" She asked grinning once again and falling back so her head was on Deidara's lap. Deidara laughed and gently shook his head while fiddling with her hair. Just like old times.

"What, Hotaru-chan?" Deidara asked smiling down at her.

"I'm going to the chunin exams an Leader-sama said that you're coming too!!" She said excitedly waiting for approval.

"Leader-sama gave you permission, un?" Deidara raised an eyebrow skeptically as she began to fiddle with the ends of her shirt.

"Yeah… you don't want to go, do you?" she asked disappointed and looked down at the shreds of her old shirt.

"No, I want to go but I'm shocked that Leader-sama's letting you go, un." Deidara said then smiled at her, "…going to be a chunin eh, un?" Deidara asked smiling nostalgically.

"Yeah… I guess…" She said unenthusiastically and turned her head away from Deidara.

"What's the matter, un?" Deidara asked looking at her with concern.

"Nothing I just…" she trailed off fiddling with a thread that hung lower than all the rest on her shirt.

"something's wrong, don't try to hide it, un." Deidara said then mentally smacked himself, they had just kidnapped her, of course something was wrong, "You can always talk to me about anything, ok, un?"

"I was supposed to go to the Exams with Gaara-kun." She confessed as Deidara soothingly stroked her hair.

"I'm sorry Hotaru-chan, we never meant for you to get hurt, un." Deidara whispered sincerely.

"I know but I don't understand, Why couldn't I stay with him? I promise I wouldn't do anything wrong." Hotaru sat up and looked Deidara in the eyes, he had to look away. He couldn't bear to look into her hurtful eyes, brimming with unshed tears, and know that he'd help cause it.

"Because, if you were to tell any body about us then all our plans would fail, un." Deidara said with a serious tone.

"Then why did you even let me meet him?! Why didn't you just take me away when you had the chance!? I loved him you know!" Hotaru flew at Deidara limply beating his chest while sobbing uncontrollably. After a few seconds she was reduced to sobbing and clutching to the front of Deidara's shirt.

"I'm sorry." Deidara said hugging her and gently rocking her.

"N-No! I c-can't!" She said suddenly struggling against Deidara who instantly released her.

"I c-can't! I-I'm betraying G-Gaara-sama! I c-can't!" Hotaru yelled between choked sobs, "You-You are th-the e-enemy, y-you hurt us!"

"If he's any good for you he'd want you to be happy, aren't you happy with us, un?" Deidara demanded, "Or aren't we enough anymore, un! Is he more important to you than your brothers!?"

"I love him Deidara! How would you feel in m-my situation!? Yes, I missed you guys, yes you're my brothers, but he's so much more than that to me!!" Hotaru wiped her tears in frustration, "Can't you understand!?"

"No I can't, un!" Deidara yelled back, "I can't understand how after only a couple of years with that guy he's already more important to you than your brothers!"

"You aren't even my real brothers!! Gaara's been my family since he rescued me! Gaara is everything to me! We both saved each other and then you guys came back into my life and destroyed that and now I might never see him again!"

"weren't we there for you when you were little, huh un? Weren't we always there for you, un!?"

"You weren't there when I needed you! Gaara was _always_ there!" Hotaru shrieked, "where were you when I needed you!? Where were my _BROTHERS_ when my Dad _sold_ me!? Can you tell me?! Where the fuck were you when that bastard beat me in his basement and I was too scared to even scream!? Where!?"

"We were trying to find you're ass, un!! And It makes it pretty damn hard to find you when the guy who bought you got splattered all over the walls by that monster!!" Deidara didn't even realize what he was saying until it was too late. Hotaru stood in front of him, eyes covered by her hair and fists clenched tightly at her sides.

"Hotaru-" Deidara started apologetically.

"Shut up, Deidara." Hotaru hissed venomously, "You've said enough."

"Hotaru-chan, I-" Deidara was cut off again when Hotaru slapped him across the face.

"Shut up!!!" Hotaru screamed at Deidara, "He's not a monster!! It's not his fault!!"

Deidara stared at her dumbstruck with his hand placed gingerly on his abused cheek. Hotaru glared at him for a few more seconds before storming out of the room and towards her own room. when she turned the corner to her room she unexpectedly ran into a hard wall of flesh.

"Ow, mother f-"

"Hotaru, you shouldn't swear." The human wall said emotionlessly.

"What the hell?" Hotaru glared up only to find that it wasn't really a wall but it was Itachi, "Oh, I'm sorry, Itachi-sama." Hotaru said and bowed politely then rushed over to her room slamming the door loudly and leaving a mildly bewildered Itachi in the hallway.

"Damn it!" Hotaru whispered as she sunk to the floor, "I cried to him just like a helpless little kid!! And then I hit him! Even worse I betrayed Gaara-sama." Hotaru muttered to herself, "Gaara-kun…" she whispered wistfully. Suddenly Hotaru burst out crying again and buried her face in her knees. After half an hour Deidara came looking for her.

"Hey, Hotaru-chan, wanna go train, un?" He asked gently pushing her door open.

"Sure, Nee-chan," Hotaru standing and whipping her tears, "just let me change first."

"Ok, un." Deidara said and quietly shut the door.

"I wonder who did the shopping…" she wondered aloud pulling open the top drawer of the dresser and revealing a wardrobe consisting of mainly black, the first shirt she saw was a black Tank top that was hanging halfway out of the drawer. She shrugged discarding her old torn shirt and pulling on the clean black tank.

Hotaru opened the second drawer reveal an assortment of shorts, skirts, pants, and capris. She smiled and took out a pair of black shorts that were a little bit darker than her shirt.

"Itachi-sama and Deidara-nee-chan." Hotaru thought out loud. She swapped out her old shorts for the new ones and debated on weather or not to put on her old jacket, she decided not to and tossed it on her bed before opening the door. Hotaru was mildly surprised to see Itachi and Kisame standing outside her door along with Deidara.

"Itachi-sama, Kisame-nii-san, Deidara-nee-chan," Hotaru acknowledged each of them with a nod in their direction, "are we all training together?"

"Yeah." Kisame answered first slinging his sword over his shoulder.

"Where at?" Hotaru asked curiously as she followed them down the hall.

"Outside, un." Deidara answered this time.

"I'm allowed outside?" Hotaru asked stopping and giving them her an are-you-fucking-stupid look. (so much for my T rating resolve º.o ( it's crooked))

"You see that charm your wearin' kid?" Kisame pointed to the charm bracelet that Leader-sama had given her, bearing only the silver feline, "It works as a chakra seal, I won't tell you how it works but it only responds to the charka of the members of the Akatsuki. In other words if you try to run, little sister, we seal you." He finished shooting a sadistic smirk back at her where her feet were rooted to the floor.

"You coming, un?" Deidara said turning his head so he could look at her.

"Hm? Oh! yeah, I'm coming." Hotaru snapped out of her temporary shock and ran to catch up with them.

'They've changed.' Hotaru thought to herself remembering how Kisame had not so indirectly threatened her

"**You can't expect them to stay the same forever, child," **Nibi pointed out, **"after all, they are criminals and they're dangerous, be careful." **

'I will Okaa-sama.' Hotaru responded thankful for the reminder and the comfort of knowing Nibi still cared about her and worried about her safety.

"I don't think you'll need the seal, I won't run." Hotaru told them like they should already know the information.

"And why wouldn't you run, Hotaru?" Itachi asked finally speaking up.

"Because, you'll come to get me again, me and Gaara obviously didn't stand a chance last time," Hotaru explained looking downcast as she thought about the one person that had showed her kindness without having orders to and how she had just basically insulted him, "and I refuse to let him get hurt if I can help it. And who's to say that Leader-sama wouldn't have you kill him if I try to escape? He'd probably torture him, that bastard lives for that kind of stuff. I don't know why you guys didn't just kill me and him before but I'm assuming that you want something and it has to do with our demons. It's obvious after the way that you only avoided his attacks last time, only used genjutsu on us to separate us instead of killing one or both of us, and finally the fact that I'm still alive and so is he." 'hopefully' Hotaru added in her head.

"Now that's an interesting conclusion… why did it surprise you that we didn't kill you?" Itachi asked somewhat curious as to how she'd come to a conclusion that was pretty much dead right.

"You said that I knew too much about you guys and what better way to keep me from telling people about you than killing me, after all, a dead girl tells no tales." Hotaru smirked knowing she had them.

"Smart, un."

"Best damn strategist in the genin of the sand." Hotaru bragged but her heart wasn't really in it, she could always figure out her opponents motives but it wasn't the same without Gaara, he was always the only person she answered to and the only person she accepted orders from. Hotaru shook her head and cleared away her thoughts about Gaara to be dealt with later on in private.

They reached the exit and Itachi flew through the hand signs so quickly that Hotaru couldn't even tell what they were or even how many. He slapped a hand to the stone and the exit was revealed. Deidara walked out first tossing a clay bird into the center of the cave. They all climbed on and the bird took off landing in a clearing not to far from the hide out but it was a place that people rarely traveled through.

"Here?" Hotaru asked seeing that the clearing looked to be perfectly circular, unnaturally circular.

"Did you guys clear this place out?" Hotaru pressed curious as to why there would be a perfectly circular clearing in the forest.

"No, someone found this place all burned up with a corpse that was burned beyond recognition, un. Everyone says it was some type of a forest spirit seeking vengeance on the people for building in it's home, because, strange as it is, it rained saltwater for a two days before he was found and for five more days after that, un." Deidara explained watching as Hotaru tensed.

"No one comes through here anymore, but we know better." Kisame said smirking at Hotaru.

"Ok, ok, I get it," Hotaru said putting her hands up in surrender, "this is where I went crazy and saw you guys for the last time… and said a bunch of stuff I didn't mean, I'm sorry guys, I really am so get off my back."

"Let's train." Itachi commanded before Kisame or Deidara could respond.

"I thought I was the team leader, un." Deidara protested but did what he was told..

"First off, let's see what you can really do, Deidara, Spar with Hotaru so we can see what we're working with." Itachi instructed leaving no room for question.

"Can I have a kunai real quick?" Hotaru asked looking to Itachi.

"why?" Itachi demanded rather than simply asking in a more polite way.

"All my other clothes were clothes I customized with Velcro, I need to make slits in the back of my shirt so that my whole shirt doesn't fall off." Hotaru explained semi-politely. Itachi wordlessly tossed her a kunai which landed about an inch from her foot. When she finished she tossed it back to Itachi who caught it without so much as batting an eye.

"Prepare yourself Onii-sama." Hotaru said grinning wickedly at Deidara.

"Aim to kill, go." Itachi said and then waved a hand lazily.

During the time that Hotaru had taken to cut the holes in her shirt Deidara had gathered enough clay in his hand-mouths to last a fair amount of time in the mock battle and now launched three explosive flying bugs at Hotaru who smirked jamming her hand in her pocket and unleashing her wings. She propelled herself into the air with a single pump of her powerful wings, then withdrew her hand from her pocket throwing three small glass shards at each of the bugs, the shards exploded on contact activating the explosive properties of Deidara's clay and creating a large cloud of pitch black smoke. Hotaru floated above the plume of dark gas for a few moments before diving backwards and doing a mid-air backflip, barely dodging Deidara on his bird, tendrils of black smoke clung to the bird and it's rider dissipating as they came to a stop facing Hotaru in a flourish of white wings. Hotaru threw a handful of shards into the air then quickly flew through some hand signs.

"Desert hail!" Hotaru yelled and the shards instantly stopped there falling and shot upwards surrounding Deidara before sharply turning and falling quickly towards Deidara from all angles. Deidara unleashed a handful of his clay bugs and commanded them and his bird to fly at Hotaru, Hotaru used this opportunity to shoot fire at him from her hands. Deidara and his clay swarm spun diving down and swooping low under her with a steady stream of fire at his back and glass shards exploding around him. A shard exploded right next to his arm, burning him and painfully embedding tiny slivers of glass in his arm making him wince. He looked at it briefly to assess the damage, his cloak had a hole singed in it about three inches above his elbow, the skin beneath it was burnt an angry red color and blood trickled down his arm slowly, he could see the very ends of the slivers sticking out of tiny puncture wounds in the burn, Deidara cringed as he thought about how much trouble it would be to get them out.

"I win." Hotaru announced, Deidara looked at her confused before a wave of dizziness over took him causing him to fall off the bird and plummet towards the ground. Hotaru flew towards him and managed to awkwardly catch the larger man and lower him to the ground.

"You take after Deidara, kid." Kisame said as he walked over to where Hotaru had gently laid the disorientated Deidara on the ground.

"I thought we took all your weapons." Itachi said looking down at her menacingly.

"You didn't, but these are useless unless I can use charka." Hotaru said holding up a shard for Itachi to see. Itachi took the shard and inspected it seeing that it was crystal clear and surprisingly warm, it also had a strange presence to it and it seemed to have chakra flowing through it.

"It's normal desert sand made into glass by my chakra fire, during the process of making them I infuse them with my chakra which let's me control them," Hotaru explained busying herself with removing the slivers from Deidara's arm, "Once they're inside someone I can force that chakra out of the shards and into the person in a few ways, what I did just now was one of the least lethal ways. Or instead of releasing the chakra I can force the tiniest slivers into someone's blood stream and work there way towards there heart then detonate them, instant termination. Quiet and effective"

Deidara groaned, "'the fuck happened, un?" he asked putting his uninjured hand on his forehead.

"I made your temperature go up." Hotaru said regretfully, she wasn't proud of hurting her brother, "I could've killed you if I wanted to... If he was here I would've." She added the last part in a whisper.

"Then why dun you jus' bust outta here, un?" Deidara asked disorientated as Hotaru frowned it his wound.

"You didn't take me seriously," Hotaru said then stood up, "if you took me seriously then I would've lost. And even if I some how beat you, there's still everyone else." She sighed dusting off her legs and sucked her wings back into her back, "for the rest of them, I'll need tweezers, let's go back." Hotaru looked to Itachi for approval. He nodded and Deidara called the bird to his side, it had fallen moments after he had landing a few yards away, and he managed to get on with minimal help from Kisame.

"Why not just "control them" out of his arm kid?" Kisame asked sarcastically thinking about what she'd said earlier.

"I told you, I had to force my chakra out of them, they're just normal glass slivers now." Hotaru said annoyed that he hadn't been paying enough attention, "I'm sorry, nee-chan, I'll take care of it, I promise." She turned her attention to Deidara who had raised a part of the bird so he could lean on it.

"'kay, un." Deidara said forcing an answer, he would've just nodded but he decided to answer instead.

They arrived at the cave with little problem and Deidara was still feeling pretty weak but he managed to get to his room before collapsing on his bed. Hotaru set down the medical supplies that she'd picked up from a supply closet before closing the door. She picked up the tweezers, a bottle of peroxide, and a towel and walked to his bedside.

"I think I gave you a fever, I'm sorry Deidara-nii-chan." She said remorsefully, refusing to look him in the eye.

"'S ok, I should've taken it seriously, un." He said unenthusiastically and smiled a little.

"You'll need to take your cloak off so I can do this properly." Hotaru said setting the supplies back down and moving to help him take it off.

"I got it, un." Deidara said as he gingerly pulled it away from his wound and then finished taking it off. Hotaru took it and folded it neatly.

"I'll fix it after I clean you up, do you guys have any sowing things?" Hotaru asked as she poured some peroxide over the glass-laden burn and into a bowl beneath it. Deidara hissed as the cool liquid fizzed over his burn and helped to start working the slivers out.

"In the supply closet, un." Deidara said through clenched teeth as she dug into the sensitive skin with the tweezers to get the glass out. Hotaru gave a grunt to show that she'd heard him and pulled out a sliver dropping it into a paper cup that she'd found in the supply closet. Hotaru diligently worked on removing all the slivers from his burn for an hour straight then she applied burn ointment and bandaged his upper arm before she noticed a few miniscule scabs on his forearm and sighed. Hotaru took another thirty minutes and a safety pin to remove the remainder of the shards and after many groans and hisses from Deidara, she was finished. Hotaru picked up the medical supplies including Deidara's cloak and tossed the cup in the garbage before smiling at Deidara and bowing. Deidara smiled back and mumbled a thanks before falling asleep.

Hotaru closed the door silently behind herself and turned only to be eep in surprise and nearly drop all her things when she saw that there was someone standing right behind her.

"How is he?" Sasori asked curiously as Hotaru regained her composure.

"H-He's fine, Sasori-Onii-sama, He's sleeping off a fever right now." Hotaru said still not completely recovered from the scare he'd given her.

"I see… when will he be better, we can't do anything if he's sick, we're a two man team." Sasori inquired staring at the door.

"When Deidara-Onee-sama wakes up he should be fine." Hotaru said dejectedly, she hadn't really meant to hurt him, she thought that he'd block all of her shards but when he hadn't taken her seriously at all she felt angry and she let her anger get in the way of her better judgment and actually used a lot more force than she'd meant to when she released her chakra from the shards.

"I'm sorry, Sasori-Onii-Sama, it's all my fault that he's sick." Hotaru said and bowed before hurrying off to fix Deidara's cloak.

Once she was back in her room Hotaru opened up a large box full of sowing things and got out her MP3 player and switched it to the radio.

"And now here's Three Day's Grace with "Gone Forever."" The announcer said as Hotaru got her sowing stuff out and cut some black fabric from her already ruined black tank top turning it into a belly shirt.

--Meanwhile In Suna—

((Gaara POV))

I decided to sit all alone in my basement with my radio on so it wasn't so damn quiet today. Hotaru's been on my mind ever since they took her, I can't stand it. I still can't believe that she's actually gone, it feels like I've wasted so much time not looking for her.

"And now here's Three Day's Grace with "Gone Forever."" The radio announcer said and momentarily distracted me from my depressing thoughts.

"**Don't know what's going on, Don't know what went wrong. Feels like a hundred years, I still can't believe you're gone" **

I growled, everything I heard lately seemed to be connected to Hotaru or remind me of her. God, it's so annoying, I want to get her back but I don't know where they took her.

"**So I'll stay up all night with these bloodshot eyes, while these walls surround me with the story of our life."**

I'm already just about ready to sand coffin the radio and it just started playing the song, what does it know?! I really do stay up all night but usually I'm killing people but right now I am surrounded by walls that held the story of me and Hotaru's life. This singer guy has no room to talk and needs to just shut the fuck up.

"**I feel so, much better, now that you're gone forever!"**

Yeah right, I feel so much worse, what the hell were these people thinking when they wrote this?

"**I tell myself that I don't miss you at all."**

"Sounds like you're trying to convince yourselves that you don't miss her." I commented, I'd done the exact same thing earlier after walking out of the hospital, "It doesn't work."

"**I'm not lying, denying, that I feel so much better, now that you're gone forever."**

"Like hell you aren't lying." I growled again and the sand around me stirred a bit. God Damn songs, why the hell do they all remind me of Hotaru?!

"**Now things are becoming clear, and I don't need you here, and in this world around me, I'm glad you disappeared."**

I don't need Hotaru here but I want her here, she's the only thing I… love? Yeah... I hate that word. I though about the other words and decided that I was kind of glad that the people in the world around us couldn't hurt her now but what are those god damn Akatsuki bastards doing to her? They better not lay a finger on _my _Hotaru.

"**So all stay out all night, get drunk and fucking fight! Until the morning comes I'll forget about our life."**

Hell yeah, I'm going to go out all night tonight and I don't give a fuck who I kill!

"**I feel so much better now that you're gone forever, I tell myself that I don't miss you at all, I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now that you're gone forever." **

I actually feel a lot better knowing that I'm going to kill people tonight, I'll pretend I don't miss her. I can't let anyone know that I'm so weak that I fell in love… Technically I'm not lying about denying that I feel better about her being gone though. I deny that I feel better. Finally I can agree with the damn song.

"**First time you screamed at me, I should've made you leave, I should've known it could've been so much better."**

What the fucking hell?! If I would've made her leave the first time she screamed at me I probably would've killed her. I shuddered, I don't want to kill her, Shukaku did but I didn't let him. What is up with this song?! Nothing could've been better than Hotaru, she was my angel, my firefly, my light. I sound stupid, I sound like a damn school girl.

"**I hope you're missin' me I hope I made you see that I'm gone forever, and now it's becoming clear, that I don't need you here, and in this world around me, I'm glad you disapeared"**

"Fuck you." I spat and commanded my sand to crush the radio. I 'm so pissed off right now, I'm going to go kill someone. I don't care who but someone has to die. I'm alone now… Again.

--back with Hotaru--

((Normal POV))

"**I feel so much better now that you're gone forever, I tell myself that I don't miss you at all, I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better, now that you're gone forever. And I don't go forever, and I don't go forever…" **

Hotaru frowned switching the radio off and setting it to shuffle. Cartoon Heroes speedy mix by Aqua came up. She smiled and finished the stitching on Deidara's cloak and stood up to carry it back to his room. Hotaru neatly folded it then took off towards Deidara's room.

"**We are what we're supposed to be, illusions of you're fantasy, all dots and lines that speak and say what we do is what you wish to do! We are the color symphony we do the things you want to see frame by frame to the extreme. Our friends are so unreasonable, they do the unpredictable, all dots and lines that speak and say what we do is what you wish to do! It's all an orchestra of strings doing unbelievable things frame by frame to the extreme one by one we're making it fun! We are the cartoon heroes, wuh oh, We are the ones who're gonna last forever, we came out of a crazy mind, uh woah. Here comes spider man, arachnophobia, welcome to the toon town party! Here comes super man from never never land, welcome to the toon **

**town party!"**

The song ended just as she reached the door and she took the earphones out before gently pushing the door open a tiny bit. She stopped when she heard a voice and she silently cursed thinking she'd woken up Deidara, but she didn't recognize it as Deidara's voice, it was Sasori's. Quickly she masked her presence, making it fade away like she'd walked past his room.

"Deidara, I think our clumsy sister just passed your room." Sasori chuckled quietly as not to wake him, "You made me worry earlier, Kisame-san said that you "got taken out by a little girl" and I thought that you died. God Dei-chan, you scared the shit out of me."

Hotaru looked resentfully at the door as she listened, she wouldn't kill Deidara. Hotaru had said that she'd kill him if Gaara was there but she knew she couldn't, even if they were criminals and her current captors, the Akatsuki were the closest thing she'd had to family when she was a little kid. They were important to her and she loved every one of them, except Leader-sama, , and the money grubber that is.

"Sasori-dana?" she heard Deidara mumble.

"Oh, Sorry Dei-chan, I didn't mean to wake you." Sasori's apologetic voice came through the crack in the door, "I guess I'll leave."

Hotaru heard the shuffling of a chair being scooted and froze. Then she heard a sort of a slapping sound and couldn't help but peak. Deidara was leaning halfway off the bed holding onto Sasori's wrist, preventing him from leaving. Sasori turned back around and was pulled down by Deidara. Hotaru blushed as she watched the two share a gentle loving kiss. Wait a minute… her brothers were gay?! Since when?! And why didn't Deidara tell her?!

"You need to rest koi." Sasori whispered and Hotaru backed away and tore off down the hallway so she wouldn't be caught peeping. She rounded the corner and put her back to the wall and waited until she heard Deidara's door open and then close again then footsteps headed her way and she swore under her breath, if she was found hiding then it would be obvious that she'd seen the whole thing. So Hotaru put on her best clueless and hopelessly lost face on and walked back around the corner.

"Oh! Sasori-Onii-sama! Can you tell me where Deidara-onee-sama's room is, I forgot." She said smiling sheepishly .

"Yeah, it's the door right there." Sasori pointed to the door that he'd just come from.

"Oh, thanks Onii-sama, I fixed his cloak see?" Hotaru said proudly showing him the part that she had stitched.

"You did a good job Hotaru-chan, I can't even tell it ripped…" Sasori paused and raised an eyebrow, "is there a reason that you're is wearing such revealing clothing?"

"O-Oh, ano, I used the other half of my shirt to fix the hole… it was already ruined anyway." Hotaru said fixing her eyes on the floor and blushing embarrassedly.

"That sounds like our clumsy little Hotaru." Sasori said ruffling her hair.

"Hey!" Hotaru cried puffing out her cheeks and pouting, "I'm not clumsy."

Sasori chuckled and ruffled her hair again before walking passed her. Hotaru giggled and walked to Deidara's room and knocking before coming in. Deidara was lying on the bed staring at the ceiling blankly.

"Ohayo gozaimas, Onee-sama." Hotaru greeted cheerfully (Good morning, big sister. (politely))

"Oh! Hotaru, I didn't hear you come in, un." Deidara said snapping back into reality. Hotaru smiled.

"I fixed your cloak." Hotaru said holding it up for inspection.

"Wow, you did a… wait a minute, un! Where is the rest of your shirt, un!?" Deidara yelled spastically, "You can't run around half naked in a place crawling with men!"

"Hey! I'm not half naked and no one here likes me like _that_." She replied sticking her tongue out at Deidara. Deidara smirked holding up both his hands and sticking out all three tongues at her.

"You cheat." She stated as she set her cloak down on his nightstand. "Hey, do you guys have a kitchen?"

"Yeah, but no one ever cooks, un. Why?" Deidara asked as Hotaru placed a hand on his forehead to take his temperature.

"I'm gonna cook, any requests?" She removed her hand and took a wash cloth from Deidara's side table, "This clean?"

"Yeah, un." Deidara yawned and popped his knuckles.

Hotaru nodded and did a few hand signs before blowing on the cloth and putting it on Deidara's forehead.

"Steam? How's steam gonna help, u- cold! Un!" Deidara was surprised by the sudden shock of the freezing wet material on his bare skin.

"Uh-huh, I'm good with both fire and water, cold and hot because my natural Chakra is Water which includes ice and with Nibi I get Fire, so right now I've got two elements that I can use freely." Hotaru explained while putting her hands over the cloth and pumping a small amount of heat into it so Deidara could tolerate it for longer.

"I'm gonna make you some soup, your allergic to garlic right?" Hotaru asked picking up a few clay sculptures off the ground and placing them on the wooden shelves screwed into the wall.

"You remembered, un?"

"Uh-huh, it's kind of hard to forget that Kisame practically killed you with his sad attempt at shrimp scampi. That stuff was horrible." Hotaru shuddered and picked up some Ramen cups and chip bags off the floor.

"Is this stuff all you eat?" Hotaru asked holding up the trash.

"…yeah, un. Nobody can really cook so…" Deidara hesitated while answering. Hotaru sighed.

"I've got my work cut out for me." She said before asking Deidara if he had any requests. He said what ever she made would be fine and she hurried off to the kitchen.

"Repent child." Hidan said calmly as he passed her in the hallway.

Hotaru sighed, Kisame the fish man, the crazy holy-man, the money grubber, Sasori the living puppet, Tobi the identity confused ninja, and Itachi and Deidara, the gender confused Ninjas. It was going to be a loooong wait.

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Ok so I forgot to finish this chapter and started writing the next chapter… finished it and started writing chapter nine before I finished chapter seven…oops.

It is 5:11 AM on Monday, November 24, 2008


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Gomen, gomen, I know I haven't been updating as much as I used to but no internet and moving are not a good combination for my updates, lol. I seriously have like a million ideas and I absolutely love writing this story. I just re-read the first few chapters and… I think I'll rewrite it cuz it kinda suck. *sigh* was I really that bad? Am I still that bad? Ugh, I have a long way to go.

Oh, and I'm sorry but I'm not well versed in the occurrences during the Chunin exams so I'm going to start them out on the written part.

Shout out to Topaz Maia!! Lubs you!!!

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"You sure you're ready for the exams, un?" Deidara asked his younger female companion as they left the Akatsuki cave. It had been two years since she had come to live with them now and she had turned into a lovely young woman but other than getting a little taller most of her features hadn't changed. Her fighting skills had improved drastically but she was still no match for her captors and brothers. And as much as Deidara hated to admit it, she was growing up.

"Yeah, Nee-chan, I'm ready." Hotaru answered rolling the white sleeves of her new trench coat up to her elbows. She had recently customized the coat and shirt with the Velcro slits and her clothes were all a similar style now instead of the random clothes that Itachi and Deidara had "bought" for her. Her outfit for the time being was a white trench coat with black along most of the seems and her shorts were the same. Her shirt was a black tank top with a small white feather on the bottom right corner and matching black feathers on the cuffs of the sleeves on her trench coat. Itachi had been opposed to the feathers and similarity to her old look but she refused to change it and threatened to stop cooking meals for everyone if he made her and that got all the other members to vouch for her outfit. She highly doubted they could survive without her cooking anymore.

"Alright, guys time to go." Hotaru said clearing her thoughts and jumping over the edge of the cliff, spreading her large black wings to slow the fall. Deidara followed after her transforming himself into a tall short-haired brunette man dressed in standard Jounin vest and black pants with his headband tied around his forehead. Followed by Kisame who disguised himself as a scrawny medium height boy with shaggy dirty blonde hair wearing casual baggy shorts and a t-shirt. And Finally Itachi turned into an exact replica of Hotaru but the colors of his clothes were opposite to hers, they were white where hers were black and black where hers were white.

When they finally reached the bottom, Hotaru landing smoothly while every one else slid down the side of the cliff and landed with a flair of their ninja talent and a malicious smile. Hotaru turned around and surveyed her new team.

"Let me guess, Itachi's the chick?" Hotaru asked putting a hand on her tip. Her own reflection stared back at her emotionlessly while unrolling her sleeves and dusting off the bottom of her trench coat, "Itachi, that's so not cool. What are you supposed to be, My twin?"

Itachi nodded at Hotaru who pouted back at him. This was definitely not good, especially if Gaara saw Itachi and lost his temper, thinking it was Hotaru, and tried to take him with him.

"Looks nice, hm." Deidara said attempting to conceal his trademark "un."

"Let's get going, we don't have time to discuss Itachi's feminine side." Hotaru pouted, she was anxious to get to the exams but she definitely didn't want it to show.

"Remember, Hotaru-san, Avoid contact with Sabaku No Gaara for as long as you can," Itachi reviewed re-briefing her on the mission, "only speak to him if forced to, do NOT seek him out. Avoid physical contact with him at all costs and if you must make physical contact with him then make it as brief as possible. You are to stay close to one of the members of the group at all times. Now we can go, Hotaru-san hold onto me."

Hotaru raised an eyebrow at him but none the less hugged Itachi's female body. In a puff of Chakra induced smoke Hotaru and Itachi arrived in the forest surrounding Konohagakure.

'I can sense his Chakra.' Hotaru whispered in her mind while she pushed away from Itachi and took a step towards the village. She felt like every molecule in her body was being pulled towards Gaara's chakra signal.

"Stay close to me." Itachi growled grabbing her hand roughly, "We're twins, remember?"

"Yes, Aiko-chan." Hotaru answered detachedly, Itachi had mentioned the names earlier and it hadn't occurred to her until later that Aiko was a girls name.

"Hey Aiko-san, Hotaru-chan." Kisame said rubbing his now pail forearms, this brought Hotaru back to her present position.

"Hello Kazuhiko-kun, Yuichi-sensei." Itachi said calmly not even turning when Hotaru did. Hotaru started her act.

"Yuichi-sensei, me and my sister are very close, wouldn't you agree?" Hotaru said smiling happily, she was a magnificent actress.

"Yeah, hmm." Deidara drew out the hmm nostalgically like he was remembering some make-believe little brother that was very dear to him. They all understood there were ANBU black-ops and guards all over the woods here and needed to be extra careful.

"Let's go, I'm excited." Itachi said unenthusiastically pulling Hotaru towards Konoha by the hand.

"Me too." Hotaru grinned catching up with her "sister."

TIMEtimeTIMEtimeTIMEtimeTIMEtimeTIMEtimeTIMEtimeTIMEtimeTIMEtimeTIME

Hotaru fidgeted in her exam seat, Gaara had to have noticed her by now, she was pretty hard to miss. Her black and white outfit had drawn the attention of many of the sensei's and some of the other genin already, mainly with their criticism of her bright colors being easily spotted by enemies. So how hard could it be for Gaara to spot her when she wasn't trying to hide? And if her colors weren't enough, the chakra radiating off her was a dead give away that she was there.

Hotaru was pulled out of her thoughts by a slip of paper being pressed into her hand. Curiosity got the better of her and she subtly read the note under her desk.

"CHEAT. It's the whole point of the exam.

Answers:

1. A

3. B

4. B

5. D

7. C

8. A

10. C

11. B

12. D

14. True

15. False

16. False

17. False

18. True

19. True

22. Kazekage

23. Rekage

26. Emotions

28. Jinchuriki (ironic)

Idk the rest. Good luck little sis.

Ps wtf is the name of the village with a star symbol on the Hetai ate? Never heard of it."

Hotaru rolled her eyes, she knew Itachi knew all the other answers, especially the village with the star symbol, they were the easiest answers and he'd given her all the ones she didn't already have. She incinerated the paper in her fist after she filled in the answers and sent Itachi a sheet of paper inside of a glass shard. She subtly sent the shard flying at Itachi's desk and it shattered on contact with the side of the desk landing right in his… erm, her… lap. The only proof of the shard was a fine, dust-like powder that fell on the floor and scattered leaving virtually no evidence.

Hotaru flipped her test over and sent a message in a shard to Kisame containing all the answers. After about two minutes she was fidgeting again.

**Gaara's POV**

Why is she here? She's supposed to be kidnapped! I don't want to deal with this right now. Hotaru will be upset when we start killing people, won't she mom?

"**Yes but she'll forgive you." "**Mom" whispered in my ear reassuringly, I could almost believe her.

I watched through my third eye as Hotaru started to fidget again. She's bored, and I know she's probably wondering why I haven't saved her yet. But I will, because I'm going to kill them all. Right mom?

"**Yes, do it for your mother, I want their blood."** Shukaku cooed. I shuddered in the part of my mind that it couldn't get to. I know it likes Hotaru, I know it trusts her to not kill me… kill us, but I also know it wants her out of the way so there's nothing keeping me anchored down. I know that it's lying to me, I know it's not my mom but pretending to go along with it is easier than trying to face all of reality.

HOTARUhotaruHOTARUhotaruHOTARUhotaruHOTARUhotaruHOTARUhotaruHOTARU

**With Hotaru**

"Time." The instructor said signaling the end of the written portion of the exams. Hotaru got up and made to run.

"Where are you going?" The instructor demanded.

"Gotta puke, I'll get the info from my sister afterwards!" Hotaru yelled as she ran out the door.

The truth simply was that she couldn't stand being in the same room as Gaara and not being able to reach for him for much longer. At the first sign of her going against the conditions of her going to the exams her escorts would seal her and attack Gaara all at once. Hotaru wouldn't that happen, she couldn't let them hurt him anymore.

Hotaru stumbled into the girls public restroom and banged the door to one of the stalls open. She wasn't lying when she'd said she had to puke. A few seconds after she started throwing up she heard the door open and softly close.

"H-Hello?" a small voice asked after Hotaru finished heaving her stomach contents into the toilet.

"Yeah?" Hotaru answered letting out a breath before flushing.

"A-are you o-ok?" the girl asked, Hotaru could hear her take a step closer to the stall.

"ugh, yeah." Hotaru answered standing up with shaky legs and opening the door. The other girl was about the same height as her and had raven colored hair cut short except for two large strands in the front.

"I-I'm glad." The girl said smiling shyly.

"heh- what's your na-name." Hotaru asked before gargling some water from the sink and spitting it back out.

"H-Hinata. Hyuuga Hinata." The girl answered quietly.

"Hinata-chan, I like that name. I'm Hotaru, Sabak-" Hotaru stopped mid-sentence, she'd been using Gaara's last name since about two years ago, "just Hotaru."

Hinata looked at the disheartened girl with concern, "Wh-What's wrong, Hotaru-ch-chan?"

"I can't tell you." Hotaru said simply. Hinata looked confused. Hotaru silently cursed the Akatsuki for putting her in this situation.

"My sister doesn't like me to give out information that involves her too." Hotaru practically choked on the word sister, Itachi was feeling less and less like family every minute she was close to Gaara and risking everything.

"O-Oh, I understand." Hinata said cheering up some more.

"Hey Hinata-chan, have you ever been in love?" Hotaru asked out of the blue.

Hinata turned beet red and Hotaru smiled.

"Me too." Hotaru smiled kindly at Hinata.

"Wh-Wh-What?" was all Hinata could come up with.

"You should tell them." Hotaru said then leaned on the sink showing she planned on talking for a little bit.

"I-I-I-" Hinata started to sway unsteadily.

"Hey now, don't faint on me." Hotaru pushed off the sink and took a step towards Hinata.

"I-I'm sorry." Hinata said sincerely

"**the Nine-tails Jinchuuriki is coming closer." **Nibi said indifferently, speaking out of no where for the first time in three days.

"What!?" Hotaru yelled making Hinata jump and eep.

"Hinata, have you ever heard the term Jinchuuriki?" Hotaru asked quickly trying to ignore her previous outburst.

"N-No, why? Wh-What does it m-mean?" Hinata asked timidly, "I-Is it b-bad?"

"No. I mean sometimes but not me." Hotaru tried to explain as Nibi started counting down from twenty, "They're people who contain tailed-beasts. Technically they're hero's because of their demons but people never treat them that way. People misunderstand and think that they _are_ the demons but they're not. They're people but they end up hating people because they treat them like shit on their shoes."

"Wh-what? Y-You're not a-a Jinchuuriki or y-you're not a-a b-bad Jinchuuriki?" Hinata was really confused and as far as she could tell Hotaru was either insane or really, really ADD (please don't be offended, I'm not making fun of ADD people if I was I'd be making fun of myself as well.)

"Damn it, there's no time!" Hotaru yelled as Nibi updated her on the approaching jinchuuriki, "Hinata, hide, don't make any noise and don't come out no matter what happens!"

Nibi had told Hotaru what usually happened when two Jinchuuriki met, they would fight till the death or until one surrendered completely, and the people around them usually didn't end up to well off… or breathing.

Hinata was confused but nodded and hid in one of the stalls.

"**3…2…1."** Nibi counted down and Hotaru pulled a kunai out of her thigh-pouch and readied herself for an attack.

"knock knock knock. Hinata-chan? You in there." A muffled and concerned voice came from the other side of the door.

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata breathed from inside the stall Hotaru's amplified hearing just barely caught the sound of her voice.

"Hinata-chan, you ok in there?" the voice yelled again knocking on the door again.

"He your friend?" Hotaru whispered leaning on Hinata's stall door and lowering her kunai.

"Y-Yes." Hinata answered quietly. Hotaru swore under her breath and put her kunai away.

"Then answer him, you're fine." Hotaru said putting on a false mask of comfort and humiliation and opening the door to the stall. If this Jinchuuriki boy was Hinata's friend then Hotaru couldn't fight him, not here at least.

"J-Just a m-minute Naruto-kun." Hinata called stepping out of the stall and placing the shuriken she'd drawn back into her holster.

"OK Hinata-chan!" Naruto yelled loudly. Hinata smiled to herself not going unnoticed by Hotaru.

"Sorry 'bout that," Hotaru apologized putting her acting skills to good use, "Your friends Chakra is off the charts, it startled me."

Hinata smiled, "I-It's fine, I think he'd t-take that as a c-compliment." Hinata joked knowingly.

"You're in love with him." Hotaru stated smiling happily at the shorter girl.

"Wh-What?" Hinata stuttered her eyes going as wide as a UFO and her face turning a shade of red the rivaled Gaara's hair, "H-How?"

"Because, I know what it's like." Hotaru's grin faded into a sad smile, "Tell him how you feel and don't let him go, kay?"

Hinata nodded dumbstruck. Hotaru smiled and waved at her walking to the door.

"See you around Hinata-chan." Hotaru said before slipping out the door.

"Hey, is a girl in there with short hair and--" Naruto started while using his hands to show Hinata's hair cut.

"Hinata-chan will be right out." Hotaru said smiling weakly at the hyperactive blond. Naruto stopped his antics and stared at her.

"Hey, What's the matter?" He asked scratching his cheek lazily, "Didn't Hinata-chan come in there to check on you?"

"Hinata-chan will be out in a minute." Hotaru said anger flashing through her bi-colored eyes, thin spikes of green shooting through the brown.

"Ok, but why are you so upset?" Naruto pried crossing his arms firmly.

"Keep out of our business and we'll keep out of yours, kay kitsune-chan?" Hotaru growled pushing past Naruto.

"H-Hey!" Naruto yelled smoothly regaining his balance, "What did you call me?!"

"I wasn't talking to you Naruto-kun." Hotaru answered waving at him dismissively with her back to the orange clad ninja, "we were talking to what's inside you."

Naruto stopped dead in his tracks and watched in bewilderment as the girl hurried back towards the exam room. Right after Hotaru disappeared from sight Hinata emerged from the ladies room and blushed when Naruto energetically greeted her.

**Back to Hotaru**

Hotaru rounded the corner staring down at her feet and consequently didn't notice the person standing just a few feet down the hall. Hotaru continued walking oblivious to the impending danger of running into the person not two feet from her now, she had gotten completely lost in her thoughts about Gaara and the newest Jinchuuriki she'd met, Naruto.

Bam! She ran face first into the persons back.

"Miss! Are you alright?" A worried feminine voice asked as Hotaru shook her head to regain her senses, "Let her go! I don't know why the barrier didn't stop her but let her be!"

"Yeah lil bro! she didn't do anything against you!" A panicky baritone came in as Hotaru was resettled onto her feet by what she assumed were someone's hands and arms. After she regained her balance the hands didn't let go and she assumed it was because she was still holding her head with one hand and her eyes closed. Her unbuttoned trench coat had fallen off of her truth scarred shoulder and she quickly moved to cover the "Truth" up, hoping that no one had seen it.

"Hotaru…?" An all too familiar voice asked.

Realization hit Hotaru like a ton of bricks to the stomach and she slowly opened her eyes afraid that if she moved to quickly that the illusion she hoped and dreaded was real, would break, afraid that she'd break with it.

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Ok, this wasn't supposed to be up until tomorrow but I'm pulling an all nighter and *pause* ugh… uck I just puked a little… I was really excited because I got a limited edition Fruits Basket postcard from Tokyopop today ( XD ) for sending in a picture to Fan's Basket like a year ago almost. I apologize if I screwed up your calendar Topaz Maia (if you read/watch Death Note then go read Topaz Maia's fic RIGHT NOW it's funny as all hell!!). =3

Hanikamiya Mitsukai-chan at 2:14 AM on Monday, November 25, 2008


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine: Let Me Go**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, if I did, it would probably be called Gaara X3

It is Currently 2:17 AM on Monday, November 24, 2008

I finished Chapter eight and if you check the times, I started this one three minutes later. I don't think I'm gonna be sleeping tonight. And yeah, I have school in the morning but I'm not going, we had to go back home to Ohio for my little brothers pacemaker fixing surgery in Michigan, and since my current school is in New York, not New York New York, just somewhere in the state New York, and five and a half hours away from where I am right now so I'm not going.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o_**Chapter**___**Nine**_o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

**Recap…**

"_Hotaru…?" An all too familiar voice asked._

_Realization hit Hotaru like a ton of bricks to the stomach and she slowly opened her eyes afraid that if she moved to quickly that the illusion she hoped and dreaded was real, would break, afraid that she'd break with it._

**Chapter Nine…**

Hotaru stared at him for what seemed like eternity, she wanted to talk to him but she couldn't move.

"Hotaru?" he repeated demandingly and took a step closer to her. Hotaru blinked and rubbed her eyes before looking back at him.

"G-Gaara-kun…" Hotaru breathed moving towards him.

"Hotaru-san!" An unfamiliar boys voice yelled. Hotaru turned and saw Kisame in his transformation still, he was pointing at her wrapped protectively in Gaara's sand. He looked pretty pissed.

"Kazuhiko! Just let me talk to him!" Hotaru yelled gaining the attention of the few ninja still milling about in the hallway. Deidara and Itachi rounded the corner and skidded to halt where Kisame was standing and still pointing at Hotaru.

"Please! Onee-sama, Sensei!" Hotaru begged, tears already starting, "Let me talk to him."

Gaara saw Itachi disguised as Hotaru and both of their eyes narrowed simultaneously. Hotaru heard Gaara let out an angered growl and she noticed Temari and Kankurou backing away slowly.

"Go on Kankurou-san, Temari-san," Hotaru said worriedly, "I don't want either of you to get hurt if things get bad, you may not act like it but you're the only real family that Gaara-kun has."

Gaara looked at Hotaru with shock and surprise written all over his face as his siblings ran, he'd almost forgotten what it was like to have someone care about him and his entire well being. The other ninjas in the hallway were exchanging glances, debating on whether or not to intervene or follow Temari and Kankurou's example. Hotaru quickly thought of a lie.

"Mind your business the rest of you," Hotaru called glancing at as many of the other ninjas as she could, "just a case of an ex-boyfriend and way over protective teammates." Hotaru glared at her "over protective teammates." She felt the sand tense around her arms at 'Ex-boyfriend.'

"Let's take this else where?" Hotaru suggested looking between Gaara and her attendants. They all nodded, "just me and Gaara-kun though, we need to talk about this. Like I said before I won't runaway, we won't even leave the village, I already explained everything to you guys."

The Akatsuki exchanged glances and silent communications before giving them a hesitant ok. Hotaru nodded at them and Gaara's sand wrapped around more of her body and before she knew it, they were in an old secluded park in Konoha.

"Gaa-" before Hotaru could even finish saying his name Gaara had leaned down and captured her lips in a desperate kiss. Hotaru was taken by surprise and pulled back. Instantly she regretted it.

"Hotaru?" Gaara asked, hurt lacing his rough voice. Hotaru felt her heart ache at the foreign tone in his voice.

"I-I missed y-you!" Hotaru cried hugging him around the waist and burying her face in his chest, "You st-startled me when y-you k-kissed me, I-I'm so-sorry."

Gaara snapped out of his momentary confusion and leaned in closer to her face and lifted her chin so she was looking him in the eye, "I missed you too." he whispered before placing a tender kiss on Hotaru's lips. Hotaru kissed him back and moved her arms from around his waist to around his neck. Gaara moved his hand from her chin to her cheek and wrapped his other arm around her waist protectively. Hotaru felt Gaara nip at her bottom lip and complied to his silent wish, allowing his tongue to slip into her mouth and seek out her own. Hotaru didn't try to dominate the kiss this time, she wanted Gaara to, she missed him so much. When they parted both of their faces were flushed from the lack of oxygen and they were both lightly panting.

"Hotaru," Gaara whispered in her ear, "they followed us."

Hotaru's body went rigid and she blushed deep crimson from both embarrassment and anger.

"Th-Then we'll have to talk quietly, k-keep holding me." Hotaru whispered back wrapping her arms more securely around Gaara's neck, effectively pulling him closer.

"With pleasure." Gaara whispered holding her tighter and making Hotaru's blush come back even worse than before.

"Gaara, first of all I want to let you know that I love you, please don't ever forget that," Hotaru felt Gaara's grip on her tighten, "and that's why I can't stay, I c-can't go back home with you."

Gaara could feel his shirt getting wet with her tears and growled, no one made _his_ Hotaru cry and got away unscathed.

"Gaara, we're not -hic- strong enough!" Hotaru sobbed quietly into his shoulder, hiccupping every once in a while, "You ha-have to understand that -hic- I have to go back w-with them -hic-"

"No!" Gaara almost yelled holding on to her so tight that it almost hurt making Hotaru flinch and hold him tighter.

"I have to, G-Gaara, if I -hic- don't they c-could k-kill -hic- you!" Hotaru cried trying to reason with him, "p-please, -hic- I c-couldn't stand it if I l-lost -hic- you!"

"Then let me go with you." Gaara whispered trying to stay calm. Hotaru shook her head violently.

"Then who'll save u-us?" Hotaru asked giving him a watery smile. Gaara couldn't stand to see her so upset, it tore him apart inside and he knew there wasn't anything he could do right now.

"I-I won't –hic- b-blame you if y-you –hic- h-hate me." Hotaru murmured and Gaara couldn't take it. He pushed her away and grabbed her shoulders looking her straight in the eye.

"I will never hate you." Gaara said lowly and firmly, "I could never hate you." He raised one hand to her face and wiped her tears away gently only to have them replaced by a new wave of tears.

"Don't cry tenshi." Gaara whispered before chastely kissing Hotaru and wiping away more of her tears.

"I am loyal only to you, Sabaku no Gaara." Hotaru pledged, her tears letting up significantly, "So take your time getting stronger, I'll wait forever and a day for you."

"Let's go sit down, you're exhausted." Gaara ordered grabbing Hotaru's hand and leading her over to a distant tree. Hotaru smiled, she could tell he was blushing and she'd seen a smile ghost across his normally stoic face. Gaara sat down leaning against the trunk of the tree and pulled Hotaru down to sit in his lap.

"Gaara, I have to tell you something…" Hotaru said guiltily.

"Then tell me." Gaara said quirking an invisible eyebrow.

"Well… I actually have to show you…" Hotaru was nervous, like a child about to tell their mother that they'd broken her favorite vase. She hesitantly pulled off her trench coat sleeves. Gaara's eyes went wide with shock.

"Hotaru…" Gaara growled out of habit reaching out and touching the new scar on her shoulder opposite the one that read truth. Hotaru pulled away.

"I'm sorry Gaara I was upset and I-I'm not getting rid of it." Hotaru squeaked out the last part, terrified that she'd done something she knew Gaara wouldn't like and was speaking forcefully towards him about it.

"Hotaru…" Gaara said softer this time and reached for her again, tracing the black scar that matched the kanji on his own forehead, "It hurt you… right?"

Hotaru nodded. Gaara frowned and leaned forward, placing butterfly kisses all along the fresh black scar. Hotaru blushed deeply, turning about three different shades of red before settling on one. When Gaara pulled back Hotaru quickly pulled her trench coat on all the way in embarrassment before sitting in Gaara's lap again.

"Gaara?" Hotaru asked making the red head look down at her. Hotaru softly kissed the kanji on his forehead, effectively returning the favor. Gaara smiled fondly at her and kissed her on the lips.

"I don't want to let you go." Gaara whispered, his breath tickling Hotaru's lips.

"I don't want to leave Gaara, but I have to because I love you." Hotaru whispered before connecting their lips once again. They made the kiss last before separating again. When Hotaru opened her eyes, the first thing she noticed was that her and Gaara were no longer alone in front of the tree, the second thing she noticed was that it was her "escorts." Gaara growled at them and held Hotaru tightly to him.

"So much for privacy, eh nee-chan?" Hotaru asked angrily, she tightened her grip on the fabric of Gaara's shirt and the green of her eyes began leaking into the brown for the second time that day.

"Hotaru-san, I think it's time you came with us," Diedara's disguise said glancing between Hotaru and Gaara's faces every few seconds, "before this gets dangerous."

Gaara tightened his grip on Hotaru, and she turned back to him, "If you love me," She said swallowing her sadness for the moment and managing a sad, weak smile and kissed him lightly, "Gaara-kun… Let me go."

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Sorry for such a short chapter but the next chapter will have the forest of death in it and if any one caught it, Chapter 3, right before Hotaru tells Gaara she loves him for the first time. I used it for the ending line in this chapter. I thought it'd be nice if she let him know that she still remembered that day like it just happened. Please review or flame.

Monday, November 24, 2008,


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